Sometimes even the best of friends take different paths in life. When I was young my best friend was Jim. He was intelligent, personable, energetic and witty. We became friends because of a long bus trip we took together totally by accident.
Regardless from the age of 9 until 14 we hung out a lot. We did sleepovers, hung out in school, played video games together, played pool, ping pong, D&D and all sorts of other things.
It would be evident to anyone who knew us and the group that hung around together that I wasn't the leader of the pack. I wasn't as smart as Jim, wasn't as personable, or as athletic....or well, anything. He outshone me in pretty much every way.
Then in Grade 9 (age 15) my mom remarried and I moved to a different city. Jim and I parted ways. It was sad to lose my best friend
After we parted I found a new school. New friends. However, I still kept in touch with Jim. He also found new friends.
My friends were pretty much academics. We studied hard but also enjoyed playing games together and hanging out. Jim's friends were much richer than mine. They went to better parties. Hung out with good looking girls. Had nice cars (Jim's parents were much richer than mine).
Jim and I competed for good grades and by the end of high school both of us were the #1 students in our respective schools. However, I had a few great friends but no girlfriend and no money. Jim was succeeding in everything friends, girlfriend, money and generally being popular.
After graduation we both ended up going to the same University. The University of British Columbia (UBC). Jim decided to study arts and I went to study Pharmacy. I had to work very hard to maintain good grades and was on the Dean's list every year I was there. I was never popular but had a few friends I enjoyed being with and had fun clubs I enjoyed participating in.
Jim was having a great time. Good grades, parties, and a very full social calendar. I only saw him very rarely (maybe two times in four years). However, when we did get together he was amazed at how conservative I was. I didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't party, didn't use marajuana or any other drugs. He was sad for me that I was missing out on all the fun of University.
I did envy him more than a little bit. However, I decided to stay true to myself and continue on my path. I wasn't very good with people and never really fit in at parties.
We chose different paths and were no longer the best friends we had been before.
When I was in my final year of University, near graduation, I got a call from my Mom. My friend from years gone by was in the Hospital. Jim was very sick and there was concern for his life. It seems that his Marajuana had been spiked with a different drug (possibly Meth or Cocaine). His blood pressure spiked, his heart was strained, and he was in bad shape.
I wasn't exactly in good shape either. I was graduating in only a couple weeks. My diploma was coming and I had a job lined up for 2 months down the road but had no place to live after graduation came. Being homeless was going to be awful.
However, one of my good friends let me sleep in his couch for a little while until I could get to my first job. Meanwhile I heard things had gone poorly for Jim. His body recovered but his mind didn't. He had brain damage and his personality was never the same. He suffered from psychosis and could no longer function on his own. His parents would have to look after him for the rest of his life.
A lot of years have gone by. Jim and I have not seen each other for 40 years. At my father-in-law's funeral last year I saw Jim's father. Jim is still being cared for by his parents. Still trying to live a semi-normal life on anti-psychiatric medication. He is unable to work. Unable to have a girlfriend or wife.
I've sometimes thought about going to visit him but after all this time the boy I remember from my childhood is gone. The spark that was there when he was young is gone. The person I knew has been taken by drugs. I've gone on to have a good job, good family, and good memories.
Perhaps I should visit. However, I just remember how he looked down on me when I wouldn't do drugs and follow his path. I feel sad about how things have gone for him but our paths split long ago.
Regardless.
It does just prove the point. It is not how you start.
..... it's how you finish.
and while neither of our stories are finished yet. I can say I've enjoyed my journey so far and wouldn't choose Jim's at all...even if it did start out with so much more promise than mine.
