Although white weddings and court, marriages are practiced quite the same all over the world, traditional marriages are different for each people. Tell us how it is done in your tribe. We would love to know
Like you said, "aside". Traditionally and historically, white weddings and court marriages never existed here. Not until we wanted to copy the western world and that has taken its toll on us whether good or bad. Anyway, that aside!
...traditional marriages are different for each people.
Exactly, and that is the beauty of tradition. In the Yoruba tradition, into which I was born. There are a series of things done before even the marriage is done. But that is not the topic today. In Nigeria here, traditional marriage what most would refer to as "Engagement Ceremony" which literarily is wrong but what can my little self do...馃榿
Prior to the day of the marriage, both parents (or family) of the couple-to-be would have met to formally introduce themselves to each other. This setting is what is locally called "Moni n mo o" which is the same as Introduction. And this is where the parents of the bride-to-be give the list of items that the groom-to-be and his family should bring on the day of the marriage. It is usually called the Bride Price. Don't fret, the list contains feasible and pocket-friendly items and not, maybe, to bring the tooth of a live crocodile 馃ぃ. The contents of the list are what would be used majorly for the traditional marriage itself.
Now, on the set date, the venue is littered with fancy decorations and preparations everywhere. There could be, usually, MC(s) called "Alaga Iduro" who would be the one to anchor the whole program. A little drama but historical reflection ensues such that when the groom and his family arrive, they first send a delegate to announce their presence, and then the Alaga Iduro swings into action. And of course, when they have made their intentions known, they may be allowed to come in.
First thing first, traditionally, the groom and some family members have to beg, in fact, prostrate for, the bride's parents to release their daughter into their family. Here, it is called Idobale. I once participated in this for a friend of my uncle. Men, I did prostrate with my chest touching the ground till the bride's family was satisfied and money was used to bail out each of those prostrating but the groom was left to still do some.
Simultaneously in a separate place, the bride would be quite unhappy that she is leaving her family after such a long time since birth. This unhappiness leads to crying. This is normal and called Ekun Iyawo. It happens! The bride is called out and then the mother of the woman hands over the child to her father then, in turn, hands her over to the groom signifying the release of the daughter for marriage and into the groom's home and family.
And then each content of the dowry list which the groom would have brought would be used to pray and proclaim goodness into the lives of the newly wedded couple. But one of the items is usually returned. This is not common in some other traditions though. What is returned? The "Owo Ori" is. This could translate to a dowry. This is usually done by one of the oldest men in the family usually an elder sibling of the bride. In essence that it signifies that their daughter is and cannot be sold as a slave to be used or treated anyhow but honored as a wife. And that the bride's family would not allow any misbehaviors to their daughter. Cos it is believed that it is only on a slave that a dowry is paid.
Then, most times, the last item on the list is usually to pray for the couple and use the items to the brideprice to pray for them. Each of the items of the list has a symbolic representation for the good tidings wished the couple (and all newly wedded too).
.......the curtain drops with all the people eating delectable delicacies not chicken and chips while some music runs in the background and the couple grins from ear to ear.....!!!
