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There are just people who give up as soon as it gets hard, and there are people who persist precisely because it's hard.
Move to an environment that makes you feel like you need to work on yourself to be worthy of it, and all the rest will take you off it. The other guy's at the top.
Once you wake up every day, determine to close the gap between what you have been achieving and what the version of yourself with actual self-respect would think you should be achieving.
You just need to take a look at one of these.
It's obvious that if you simply manage to not become constantly angry and judgmental and anxious around your kids. Already doing a better job than most parents.