This sounds like a really rough day. That fish bowl feeling alone is enough to throw everything off. The fact that you managed to steady yourself, get through the day, and not completely spiral actually counts for something, even if it didn’t feel like a win.

It sucks about canceling on your friend too, especially someone you clearly respect. But honestly, the kind of relationship you’re describing you have with him? That doesn’t break over one missed lunch and the motivation part is spot on. It really is unreliable. Habits are the real backbone but yeah, building them when you’re already low is the hard part.

I’d be careful with the idea of a large drastic change, though. Sometimes that backfires and just adds pressure. What you’re already doing sounds like the kind of steady rebuild that actually lasts even if it feels slow and kinda boring. Tbh, it reads like you’re in a rebuilding phase, not a lost one. And hey, on days like that, just getting through it without hitting the floor (literally or mentally) is already doing more than enough.