@tegoshei
My country, the Philippines, is one of the two countries where divorce is not legal. Married couples have two other options, though. It's either to have a legal separation or annulment. The former allows the couple to live apart, but they're still considered married. The latter nullifies the marriage, but there should be serious grounds to qualify, and in addition, it's going to be a long and tedious process.
There was this joke I once read somewhere:
Q: What's the most common cause of divorce?
A: Marriage.
It did make sense, though... Couples won't undergo divorce when they're not married in the first place. However, that's not the issue.
I'm not married, and I don't have any plans to... but I'm aware that people marry for a variety of reasons. It could be love, desire to have a family of their own, companionship or even societal pressure. Whatever the reason is, the couple who decided to unite must have agreed to do so together.
The same goes for divorce.
A couple might have different reasons for going through such a process, but it should be a mutual decision. Easy, right?
In countries where the divorce process is legal, the couple could file for divorce when they no longer love each other, or they have found someone better. Of course, the reasons might be worse for others.
However, making such a decision becomes harder when the couple already has kids. They don't only have to consider themselves, but also think deeply about the effects of the divorce on their children, especially when they're still in their vulnerable years.
I can't speak for anyone, but I think it depends on the situation and the reason for wanting to divorce.
If the couple decided to separate because they fell out of love, or they found someone else, I think they should try to be responsible parents first and consider their children more.
Children may be vulnerable, but they're not stupid. It would take time for them to process things and adapt to changes, but they deserve to know what's going on with their parents. However, it shouldn't be too sudden. They could postpone the divorce, but they shouldn't force themselves to act happily together. Instead, they should let their kids know their side and explain why they have reached such a point. At least, in this way, the children won't have false hopes.
However, if the reason involves serious matters like life and safety... then, no need to think twice.
If someone in the relationship is physically or mentally abusive, the other should run away, but don't forget to take your kids with you. I've seen cases around me where abuse or a similar thing is involved, but the mother ran away and left the kids. (Good thing the kids have some relatives nearby who helped them.).
Of course, it's good to escape, but don't be too selfish and leave the kids behind with your abusive partner.
In the end, the decision to make is heavy... especially when there are kids involved. However, just like all pain, it'll eventually die down. Warmth will gradually embrace them again. Time heals, but a scar will always remain. :)
I made an art for the poem I created above, and I want to share the process below. :)
Thanks for reading and have a great one! (^^,)/
