Why are we not authentic? Why is it that we don't show our true personality and instead dress up as lamb to later on become wolves? Maybe it’s because nobody likes to be a wolf, everyone runs away from the wolves but they approach the lambs even with loving eyes.
People sometimes assume behaviors that they are far from feeling, like that of being loving people, being sympathetic to others, etc... We support them, we encourage them to move forward but when we least expect it we receive a blow, a big blow nowhere else than in our backs.
That person we had by our side for a long time was pretending to be a lamb. That personality does not stay with him for a long time because there comes a time when he encounters difficult situations to deal with and their true personality explodes, he just cannot control it.
Then you hear him say things like “Why is this happening to me?” “Why am I not valued and others are?” “Why do I have to go through X and Y and others don’t?”
It's things like this that you can hear very often among friends or partners. You realize that the person you were close to for some time, that you perceived them in specific way, now happens to show a completely different side from what they had in the beginning. Sometimes it even turns out that they didn't have that personality that attracted you to be their friend or their partner, this is because they were faking on a type of behavior that didn't fit their personality and that's why, eventually, they get out of that uncomfortable zone and manages to show themselves as they really are.
Human beings are complex. We become more complicated as we want to be accepted by others. We stop doing, saying and accepting the things we like to try to pretend to like the things that others like just to fit in.
In this way the person who tries to hide his true personality is exhausted and ends up exploding. We can fool a lot of people but we can't fool everyone all the time.
As we mature we change our perspectives on things, we learn things and we try to live as well as possible with the new ideas we are learning and applying to our lives, but we must accept everything with the conviction that it’s the best for us and needed for living in a community.
But what happens when the things we see we only try out of convenience? It’s then that we begin to perform activities that we know will please others and so we will be accepted in groups. Whether they are work groups, groups of friends and so on…
When we only change to please others, sooner or later this behavior will affect us because nothing we are doing really satisfies us.
In the life of maturity we must accept changes. We must know that we will always do things that aren’t exactly to our liking but that we must do for our convenience and better coexistence with others.
This happens when we have a family, when we decide to make a home as a couple there are many situations that we face, new things to which we must adapt to in order to live our best lives and that itself is healthy.
But it stops being healthy when instead of being ourselves who want to change our habits with the intention of developing and nurturing our coexistence, we do it in a forced way, via a second person, a mask of sorts. Sooner or later this will have to crumble.
Nothing that is forced will have a happy ending nor does it help us to mature a relationship in life, words and effective communication have a teaching effect that is lasting on the other person who recognizes it; when communication is not effective because it’s imposed by someone then we fall into a behavior that will never be learned but maintained.
How many times have we heard that someone doesn’t tolerate a person with whom they live with as a couple for the simple misuse of toothpaste, they say that their nerves are going ballistic when they see someone use it like that. But they never do try to show why they should hold a toothpaste with one hand, how to properly use a tube of toothpaste so that they don’t feel so attacked or insulted by the act of not doing it right, and this simple thing has caused many fights between couples.
What is going on here? Did they get tired of this simple thing or was it just an excuse to explode from spending a life of faking personality?
I think that in life we must accept some changes, we should not necessarily want to change someone else's behavior. I say this because we can also change and accept others with their own personalities. I think that we should talk a lot in order to reach an agreement on the decisions that are convenient for living together.
We must stop pretending what we aren’t in order to please others and try to be ourselves to happily integrate others into our lives.
Let us stop being wolves in sheep's clothing because we can be wolves and respect others as they are and be accepted as we are. As long as we wolves accept to change some habits that affect our coexistence for our own good and a happy coexistence. See, it’s not about trying to please for the sake of it and to change our life, but it’s about us trying to improve our life so that we feel better with it and thus not wanting to dress as a lamb for others, only for ourselves.
