Today I go frustrated, you spilt your food all over the floor. Today, I got frustrated, you played in the garden and got muddy hand prints all over the door. Today I got frustrated, you cried when you didn't get your own way. Today I got frustrated, you could see I was busy, but you constantly asked me to play. Today I got frustrated, you cried because I gave you the 'wrong' cup. Today I got frustrated and accidentally told you to shut up. Today I got frustrated, you refused to brush your teeth. Today I got frustrated because I was so tired from the lack of sleep. Today I got frustrated because you didn't understand the word 'no'. Today I got frustrated as you threw a tantrum on the shop floor. Today I got frustrated, you hit me when you was feeling mad. Today I got frustrated, all that was coming out my mouth was "stop being so bad!
Tonight I am feeling guilty and asking myself why couldn't I of just played with you that bit more? It really didn't matter about the muddy hand prints on the door. We could of missed brushing your teeth just for one day, walked out in the fresh air and caught the sunlight on our face. I might of been tired, but maybe I should of napped, after all it's so much nicer having you snuggled on my lap. I should of just washed the cup I knew you preferred, because instead of tears, giggles is what I wish I heard. I can't believe some of the things I said. I wish I had remained calm, and spoke with you instead. I know you shouldn't of thrown a tantrum on the shop floor, but maybe I need to learn to discipline you better before we go out the door. As for you food? I knew it was something you probably wouldn't eat. It was just easy for me to cook, maybe next time we will just opt for a handful of tasty treats.
See my time is limited with you, this I need to remember. Soon you will be running off to school in September. The echos of your cries in my house will no longer be, your toys all over the floor I will no longer see. The guilt that I carry will be forever, carrying your tiny body will soon be never. As you grow into an adult and no longer need me, but I'll always be your mummy even if you don't want me to, believe me.
