As I sit here on July 5th of my little apartment floor, basking in the rays of the morning sun, I am reminded of how blessed I am. The sun is shining, there is food in my fridge, I have friends, all my family is still alive, I have money/investments accruing, I have healed my physical vessel so well over the past year that i am free of disease/infection finally, and i have a spiritual connection to the divine that i constantly remind myself of. I am thankful for everything God has bestowed upon me; all the trials, tests, loneliness, smoke screens, failed attempts, snakes in the grass, and false idols because i have learned from it all, and continue to learn every day. I used to get up every morning wanting to die. Not really having any hope or faith in anything. Just waking up thinking about how shitty I could make things in my head. I abused drugs, abused women, abused my gut/liver, abused my family, abused my own emotions, and i abused random pedestrians that rubbed me the wrong way walking down the street. I was a giant thorn walking around stabbing people. I had no use to the world. What use is a thorn to a world that easily bleeds?
As I've been healing myself over the past year now i've gained so much more awareness of who/what I am and how I can positively affect the world around me in the name of the divine/god. I feel I walk around the cold streets of America with a warm belly full of God, eager for someone to say something or challenge me so i can turn around and give them an arms-wide-open loving acceptance of their entire spirit :) I love loving people. I love giving them the feeling of God that i've been procuring inside me for this past year. I love looking at people's eyes and seeing their every emotion whilst allowing the spirit of the divine to slowly work its way up from my belly to my own iris' and feed back to them pure acceptance.
I used to hate looking at eyes because I was wrapped in a blanket of self hate and mistrust for the world, unaware of how close God and his angels were right above me at all times. Now I look forward to reading and diving into new people's I've met eyes, to give them my energy from God and let them do what they please with it. There is no power struggle in eye contact with me anymore. The typical american uses eye gazing as a means to establish power or "alpha-ness", but how i avoid and re-guide this is by focusing my own intent. Intent is everything. My intent when I look someone in the eyes is to bask them with a warm, friendly, loving, accepting nectar of God. Nothing more, nothing less. I am not trying to win them over, I am not trying to belittle them with my gaze, I am not trying to "beat" them, I am purely giving them a reflection of the God I know and Love.
Yesterday I made a list of 30 things I want to Be/Do/Have for 2017. On that list are some physical manifestations, certain financial goals, personal creative goals, some trips i want to take, and some things i want to own this year. Every morning now i've made it the first thing I do is meditate. During the end of last summer I had a streak of about 30 days of meditating every morning, and every time I look back on that period i am reminded of how it felt like the best period of my life so far. So thus on my Be/Do/Have list for this year is to meditate every morning before touching a phone/computer/iPad. It gets my intent for the day ahead focused and of the right warm energy.
I think I'm going to start blogging like this every morning now after I meditate, perhaps before I look at social media/markets etc
If i know one thing it's that once I get going on something there's no stopping me, so here's to daily jewels of wisdom from God to the people of Steemit from the fingers of Tdeezi :)
Peace and Love