I did nothing today.
Maybe that is not completely true, since I still managed 15,000 steps during my nothingness. But really, I didn't do much. Smallsteps went to an amusement park with friends and I was one of the chaperones. But, since they are all ten years of age, they didn't really need us and I sat talking with one of the dads for a few hours over a far too expensive coffee, and then wandering around randomly talking to the girls and another parent or two. I only found out about this yesterday and it was meant to be a half day thing, but instead - we didn't leave until the place closed at eight o'clock.
Ten hours.
And while it was very hard to get any half decent photos with my phone at speed, I managed to capture a couple (out of hundreds) of Smallsteps on a ride or two, enjoying herself. Before we went there today, she was only talking about the kiddy rides and said she wouldn't be going on the fast ones - but she ponied up and got into the swing of it. Literally in the case of this chair one. She also did a rollercoaster and one of those spinning car ones that would make me vomit after about 15 seconds.
There were five girls in all, but because the rides have height restrictions and two of the girls are giants (comparatively), a lot of the time there were three together. It worked pretty well also, because these three all speak English natively as well as Finnish, so I could communicate well with them all and had a pretty good time teasing them. For the most part, I just left them alone to enjoy the experience together.
As instructed by Smallsteps.
I asked her when we were on the way there if she wanted me to stay long or leave and she said, you can stay, just don't constantly look over my shoulder. The nerve of some children. But, I am glad that she is getting her confidence up and the peer pressure from friends helped all of them push their fear boundaries a little.
Despite not really doing much (and nothing I had planned on actually doing), it was all in all a relaxing day spent wandering and just kind of "being" without much purpose. I wasn't needed much for the kids, nor did I have anything to do, but other than the chat over coffee, I kind of just sat around. I had earbuds in my pocket and my phone of course, but chose not to use them and instead just watch what was happening around me.
Despite the constant noise and screaming, it was calming.
Now, I feel like I am a bit behind with things, but there was nothing on my mental list that was urgent so I am not going to stress about non-completion. Normally I don't stress about non finishing something, because I do what I can when I can, so what I don't get done means that I couldn't get it done anyway. This is my strategy to avoid my tendency to procrastinate. It has been better this way, and I feel better for it with a lot less weight hanging over my head.
Today though, it doesn't matter.
They had fun.
Taraz
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