Why is it so hard for me to ask for money?
Especially since I have worked for it.
I was going through my billing today and one of my customers hasn't paid for several months. This is unlike them, so something has slipped through the cracks, probably given the many changes over the last half year there. However, before I sent out a reminder, I decided to get hold of one of my contacts who approves the invoices there and ask if there was an issue. She hasn't seen them, so she is chasing up what has happened. I had to send another reminder to the same company (different division) as well, as that is over a month late also, and I hope they will pay it, as it is the final invoice for them after they cut my sessions due to changes in outsourced training.
But I find it a little weird how awkward I feel when sending a reminder or asking about money matters with anyone. Some people seem to be so open and willing to ask for a loan, or chase up an invoice, or ask a friend to spot them. It just makes me feel weird, and this includes giving prices for services, which is obviously something I have to do, and wish I did more often and people bought from me. Times are pretty hard in Finland for a sole-trader at the moment, as unemployment is ridiculously high due to years of bad government decisions, and many companies are making cutbacks or are holding back investments into their people, which is at least partially caused by AI uptake. When automation can even do 10% of the work, headcount moves from ten to nine and there is an expectation that it will then soon go to eight.
I was talking to a potential client who I have been "courting" for almost a year now and he was saying how they keep losing people to other companies after a couple years, because the person "gets bored" working on the same project after a few months. However, the projects they have at the company are a year to two long. And then he says that the move that these people make are to places with the same job role, working on similar projects, for about the same amount of money.
A change is as good as a holiday?
The people making these moves are apparently younger, and I think what is happening is that they aren't feeling that great in their lives in general and fall into the trap of "change something, anything" mentality. It is a bit like people might do with a relationship when life isn't going well, assuming that it must be the other person causing the grief. And like some of my friends who can "never find a good man" they keep changing partner to different kinds of people types, but the result is the same. Yet talk to them, and it is always the other person, and they will never look in the mirror and ask - Could it be me?
Just imagine what these types of workers who keep hopping and skipping from one role to the next would have been like fifty years ago, when people were on a single career path and largely similar roles for the complete fifty years of their working lives. It wasn't just about commitment to the employer either, but rather there was an understanding or perhaps acceptance that a job doesn't provide life, it was more a means to an end to afford a life. But for someone who not only expects money from the workplace but also a social life and life meaning, getting bored means something is wrong with the work.
Take that attitude into a long-term, loving relationship.
"It's not you, I'm bored."
And I think that this also speaks to the absence of boredom in today's environment, where there is always something "interesting" (which is loosely used here) to do whilst staring at a screen. A lot of the younger generation have never been bored in their lives, as their time has been filled with digital media, and many with parents who were always doing things to keep them busy, whether it be after-school activities, shipping them off to some club, arranging playdates, or spending inordinate amounts of time with them so that they never had to face the intense discomfort of boredom.
Discomfort.
And back to the start. I still have to eat, so discomfort is unfortunately something I just have to do, whether I like it or not or get used to it or not. It is necessary for me to talk to people trying to sell my services when I dislike doing that a lot. I have to talk about money matters with them, and convince them of value, when they are being told to constantly cut back costs, regardless. Discomfort seems to be the underlying thread of not only my career, but life.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
But unfortunately, this is the thing with discomfort. Because while you can get used to it at one level, to advance, the level has to be raised and the discomfort steps right back in. Getting comfortable with change is a fallacy, because change always causes some level of discomfort and it isn't until the change is accepted, that it dissipates. But, more changes will come, so the thing we have to get used to is, being uncomfortable. Discomfort isn't an existential threat, it is a natural part of life that we need to experience in order to grow. The more we avoid it, the more we limit our potential.
Maybe I am not hungry enough.
Taraz
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