Tomorrow is Finnish Independence holiday, so it is going to be a long weekend. To kick it off in the right way, I decided to host a small get-together of random people to join us for some glögi (Christmas fruit drink), and some good company. There were three family's of my daughter's friends present, though only one of the husbands could also join, and our neighbours. None knew much of others prior, but the conversation flowed well, and I think that people enjoyed themselves.
To get it started, I put together a spread of some sliced hams, olives, pickles, olive tapenade, hummus, cheeses, grapes and apple, fig jam and nuts and crackers. For dessert, my wife made an apple and raspberry pie and one of the guests brought an awesome cheesecake, which is pictured below also. Some chocolate and candy for the kids, and gingerbread and blue cheese for the adults.
And of course, wine.
Food was not the focus of the night, but sitting around the dining table as the kids played upstairs, conversation with strangers was easier when there was something to nibble on, and points of focus for discussion if it did get a little quiet. Which it didn't really, and I was surprised as normally there is a finish culture of these kinds of things being "2 hours" and then people start excusing themselves, but without even realizing it, it was closing in on ten pm and the kids whilst still playing, were quickly starting to wear.
They should sleep well tonight at least.
I have been with my wife for well over a decade now, and this is the first time we have done this kind of thing, because it isn't done in Finnish culture very often. Sure, when there are student parties at university there are a lot of randoms, but the culture here for gatherings at a house are pretty much limited to familiars. And, there are many people I know who don't "mix" familiars from different groups. Sometimes there are a few strangers thrown in here and there, but it isn't usually planned in any way.
I like these kinds of things though, but that might be because I am pretty good at getting along with strangers and having interesting conversations around a lot of different topics. This isn't because I know about the topics generally, but because I am willing to ask questions and listen to others talk about their interest areas. It really isn't hard, but a lot of people seem unwilling to put in the effort, unless they are interested or have something to gain from listening.
I am not an extravert.
But what I think drives my social sense, is that I don't want to be the kind of person that people have to look after, to ensure that I am coping. I have a few friends like that, where unless I spend the time with them, they just sit in the corner not really talking at all, nor having a good time. I don't think adults should need babysitting. But, there wasn't much of that needed tonight, as people just talked and even when my wife and I were not in the room at times, the chatter continued.
It was refreshing.
As we get older, our circle of friends tends to retract into who we are most familiar with. This is a good thing in many ways, as we can have a small group of reliable support who know us, and we can support them also. However, it can also mean that we end up being more siloed then we might want to be and I believe we miss out on a lot of richness, even if it is uncomfortable at times.
I am hoping that in the future, we will do something similar again like this, but also that now that we have done it, we can actually get a little closer to each of the groups by themselves too. I would like to spend more time with a local community of real people, with similar challenges to mine, but facing them in perhaps different ways than me. It gives a chance to learn and discuss why and how, like we did tonight around schooling for the kids, amongst other things.
These days, I think a lot of people, even in families, feel isolated. And I hope that while we might not have touched on many of the deeper topics tonight, everyone left our home feeling a bit better for having come, even if it was just because they had a full belly of okay food. Hopefully though, they got more out of it than that also, and are ready to start their long weekend in a better frame of mind than they would have otherwise.
I feel better for it.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
