I think the Christmas meal could be a great time.
Here in Finland there is generally snow (unlikely this year) and people are in the mod to have a few days off and spend them with family. However, what I think is missing in Finland is the "spirit" of Christmas, as it gets buried under the traditions of the Christmas dinner. Knock on 100 doors during Christmas dinner and there is going to be a 90% overlap of what people are eating. And the remaining 10% are just slight variations of the same thing.
Every year.
The same.
I get that people like the traditions and take comfort in having the same thing every year, but I also think that too much importance is put on the tradition, forgetting that the spirit of Christmas (if one believes in such a thing) is about spending time with loved ones, sharing good food. It doesn't matter what food is being shared, just that it is good. Something where people have put in some effort to make what they wouldn't normally have. Ideally, make it together.
It is our year to host the meal, so we will have almost twenty people visiting. Because of the way the family has their tradition, it is a lot of work for the hosts, because it is all crammed into a few hours, so everything has to be prepped and ready, before people arrive. Sure, the ham has to be made the day before, but I feel it would be far nicer to have everyone come in and help prep, with a glass of wine in hand. It is one of the rare occasions everyone is together, but the time is spent eating, not engaging.
But I have no say.
This will be my 22nd Christmas in Finland and whenever I have suggested a change, it has been vetoed. A couple years ago I snuck in a cheese platter and everyone enjoyed it, but it has been removed from the festivities again this year - because it isn't in the traditional plans.
When I talk about the spirit of Christmas, I don't care at all about the religious aspects of it, never have, never will. What I care about is relationship building and the problem with traditions is that they become automatic routines, robotic. The same thing plays out each year based on the date, with little thought going into why, how, and who is involved. Even the conversations are the same.
And I get it - people love traditions because they feel familiar and safe, but I think that at least with the food aspect, that is an area people can be more daring. I actually think it would be something that even if a culinary disaster, would become a memorable moment shared with the people you care about the most. Instead, because nothing changes, all the Christmases blur into one. I could have Christmas with the neighbours and it would be a similar experience.
There is nothing unexpected.
Maybe that is the point for the majority of people though. They don't want to take risks during this time, because they want to make sure they enjoy it. It is like going to a favourite restaurant and ordering the same thing from the menu, because you know it is good - even though you have never tried anything else on the menu. Maybe people can relax in the familiar environment of the Christmas they know, the same one they have had every year of their life. Maybe it makes them feel some kind of continuity in a rapidly changing world.
I don't know.
I just stay silent with a mouth full of ham.
Taraz
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