When I fell down the stairs last night, I was talking with Smallsteps, and as I got up holding my shoulder, I swore quite loudly, knowing that it was going to be pretty bad, as the pain was immediate. Smallsteps got pretty scared, but I couldn't immediately check on her, as I moved myself to somewhere I could sit down and then check damage and catch my wits. But it got me thinking as to how I would have reacted at her age, and I don't think I would have been anywhere near as scared. And I think this comes down to experience, as with three older brothers, people getting hurt and gruesome injuries, were pretty common.
Yesterday, I had lunch with a couple colleagues and we got into a philosophical discussion about creativity and incentive, after I asked them the question of what they would do if they were knowingly the last ones on earth. People tend to answer with their intuition, but the challenge is that while we might think we know what we would do, without experience, we don't actually know. And, making comparisons to seemingly similar, but actually not even close knowledge doesn't help.
For instance, comparing being the last one on earth to the activities of a hermit might seem logical, but it is not the case at all, because the hermit knows they are not the last one, even if they might want to be. Another example is more common, where people posit answers to the "If I were a billionaire" question, because without actually being in that situation, probability says that they will be much like the other billionaires. If they millions it in the lottery however, probability says that they will likely be far less financially savvy than they think they would be.
We can't well imagine what it is like to be dead. We can't well imagine what it is like if we never existed at all. We just don't have the capabilities. We might think we are imagining well, but it is highly unlikely. When it comes to our behaviours in a more practical setting, we aren't actually very good at predicting how we are going to react to conditions, unless we have experience in those conditions, or have simulated it accurately enough.
Even if Smallsteps has seen accidents before, so far, she hasn't had to do anything about it. She hasn't had to call an ambulance, or nurse a deep cut, or carry the weight of one of her parents to the couch. This is a good thing, but what it also means is that in a situation where she is called on to act, she doesn't know what to do. And even if she does know, she might not be able to act in the moment, because some people tend to panic in these kinds of situations, and that leads to poor reactions.
After, I sat down with Smallsteps, let her know I was okay and went through what had happened. I also suggested that in those kinds of situations, she can be scared, but try not to panic, and then see what needs to be done, or ask if there is anything that she can do. Often of course there is not, but going through the process helps someone focus on something other than their own fear. Ultimately though, talking about it only goes so far and in order to build the necessary responses, experience is required.
This will come naturally over time.
What I think though, is that the experiences of many kids today is quite different to when I was a kid. There are different structures in place, different risks. But, no matter what they might face, having ways to mitigate panic and slow down thinking in order to work through the problems, is still needed. A lot of skills are still needed, but I don't think the digital space does a great job of providing opportunities to learn and practice them, perhaps because there is little immediate consequence to failure -
like there is when someone falls down the stairs.
Taraz
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