The last couple of days a conversation has a risen a couple times about people not doing what they know they should do but the context has surrounded children. Do you know what is best for a child, are you a good parent?
Tough questions really as there are several factors that are going to come into play but no matter what is right or wrong, the decisions we make as parents now are going to affect the children for the rest of their lives, and that might be for longer than we are living on average ourselves.
In the life of that child there are going to be advancements in all kinds of information about what is the right thing to do but what about the things that we know we should be doing now, but aren't? For example, it is pretty well documented that supporting children's talents from a young age is likely to lead to that child having higher skills in that area they enjoy but, many parents do not do this and cite a good many reasons, or excuses.
These cover all sorts of events though from diet and skill training to discipline and TV time but, the way a child is raised is going to have profound effects on the future options available to that child. An obese 15 year old is not as likely to have access to the same experiences in the world that a fit 15 year old will have. Does it matter?
Perhaps not, but the thing that parents must always keep in mind is that the way they are raising their children is essentially forcing future choices upon their children and while everyone may want "the best" for their child, what does that actually mean. And, what does it mean when what one knows is the best isn't available or, isn't being delivered even if it is?
Right now I am sitting in a small town fast-food joint and there are 6 children between the age of 13 and 15 sitting in pairs. Only one of them would be considered "fit looking" yet all of them would be considered normal. When I was the same age over 25 years ago, 5 of them would have been considered somewhat over-weight. Is this a problem?
Well, you could consider this selection bias based on my location but, it isn't - It is the average position of children these days and it isn't likely to lead on to kids demonstrating what would be considered good health. Is it the child's fault? This isn't a poor area, this isn't a place of low-education, this is Finland, one of the most affluent and highly educated countries in the world but, there is a difference between knowing and doing what is known and despite people knowing better, they tend to be doing worse.
Each decision we make comes with an opportunity cost price and as parents, the decisions we make for our children carry a price paid by our children. Often it seems that the price that is going to be paid is going to negate the core desire we have for the life of them, "I just want them to be Happy and Healthy"
I am biased in my opinion for many, many reasons and there are always going to be exceptions to the various rules and stereotypes but, if looking at the probabilities of things, it is like the prevalence of lung cancer in smokers, there is a strong correlation. People tend to be heavily affected by the way they were raised and even though it is possible to change learned patterns and behaviors, it isn't probable that most will.
And, when it comes to some things the damage is already done. It doesn't matter if it is diet or talent development, it all starts when the child is born and, before birth. Perhaps however, it is part of the process of evolution and those who are able to break the poor patterns of the past are more likely to successfully negotiate and adapt for the world in other ways.
As parents we tend to want to nurture our children into fulfilling their potential but unfortunately, our wants generally fall far short of our actions towards accomplishing that goal. But then, that is par for the course because most of us don't even look after ourselves well so what makes us think caring for another would be any different?
We all want better but getting it is going to depend on what we do, not what we want.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]