Life Support

What would you do to have all you want, and be debt free?

How much effort, how much sleep, how much stress, how much health would you spend?

I ask myself this often enough and I generally arrive at the answer,

More.

There is a strange little conflict that most parents mention, where many will say that they would give their life for their child, yet it is only if the child's life is directly threatened. right now. Humans aren't very good at considering the future however, so unless there is an immediate treat, we don't consider what our children might face in the future, or what they will miss out on because we were unwilling to sacrifice ourselves now.

People say that a child would rather live in poverty and have the parent with them, then live with plenty and have lost their parent, but I don't believe this is true. All through history children have lost their parents to accident, illness and violence - and they have lived on. Children aren't automatically destroyed at the loss of a parent, they can grow from it, and still have a good life.

But living in poverty, does anyone wish that for their child?

What would you do to increase the chances of avoiding that end? For me, I will do what I can in terms of working, missing sleep, loading stress and costing health. It is not an "all in" position, but it definitely is a more than average one. Because, like it or not, I don't know the future.

After I had a stroke, I didn't get that "lucky to be alive" feeling at all. What I did get was a reminder that I am unlikely to be on this earth for the average amount of time, unlikely to make it well into old age. I knew this already due to other health issues, but this was the kick in the pants to say,

You are likely only here for a short time. You have a daughter.
Work the fuck harder.

If I had been smarter in the past, I probably wouldn't be in the situation I am in now, but here I am, this is what I have to work with. There are challenges I face, and I have to consider the impacts I am able to make on overcoming them and, trying to future proof circumstances for the inevitable time that I am no longer able to provide. I can teach my daughter a lot, but for more than a decade to come, he is going to live a supported life. A life that I and my wife provide for her.

I don't expect my wife to do what I do.

She can be normal.

We can live a normal life, do normal activities, and face normal challenges together, without her having to live in my unnormal world too. It is much like her not needing to come with me to work, to care about all the random things I do there, or issues I need to handle. I don't have to bring work home with me, I don't have to have her worry about the work I am doing on the side. One day I hope though, it will be done to a level where it will positively impact on her life, and make her feel secure that regardless what happens to me, she will be able to look after our daughter, without having to struggle financially.

It is important to me.

It needn't be important to everyone. I have plenty of friends who care nothing about this, and live a good life. Friends who are content to be in debt, stressing over paying their bills, struggling to get a promotion or a pay rise, only to spend it frivolously when they succeed, to be back in the same position again. They like it, because they aren't the only ones doing it, they are part of the group, as most people are doing similar.

There is nothing wrong with this. It is their choice how they spend their attention, energy, sleep and free time. It is up to them whether they are willing to expose themselves to more stress or not. It is up to them if they prioritize what they consider their health now, over what might reduce their health in the future. Or the health of their loved ones.

Look after yourself.

Sure, but on what timeframe and in what capacity? Is it physical only, mental? Is looking after ourselves only to protect us today, next week, next year? We don't know what we are going to face tomorrow, or how we are going to feel about our lives in a decade from now, but there are some things that we can predict.

Money in some form isn't going away.

Sure, it might be a decentralized crypto currency we rely on in the future, but we are still going to need a place to live and unless society completely shifts on its axis, we are going to have to pay for opportunity, whether that be an education, an apprenticeship, or electricity and warm enough clothes to survive the winter.

Everything costs.

Including building wealth. Which means, we have to consider what we are willing to spend in order to get it. Some people are born with silver spoons in their mouths, most are not. Some people are gifted with incredible talents, but most are not. Some people are just lucky, most are not.