What is a rich life?
I think it is a valid question to ask oneself these days, perhaps always, because we are surrounded by a lot more perspective of life than we were earlier. It wasn't that long ago where people barely moved from their own town, let alone travelled to other countries, and we are now in a period where we can get views of every part of the world, and interact with all kinds of people. As a result, we see much of what we would never otherwise see, and it has changed our expectations about what is important in life, and what we should be able to experience. Yet at the same time, there is far more available that we will never have access to, never be able to experience, because only so much can fit into one life - especially given limited resources.
In many ways, I have been fortunate, as I have been able to live in a few cities in two different countries, as well as visit several countries more on vacations and for work. I have been able to meet people from all over the world and spend decent amounts of time with many of them. I have seen some pretty amazing things - but is that what what makes life rich?
Partly.
Yet while travel and seeing some amazing things is great, I don't think it inherently provides rich experience. I know some very well-travelled people who have been to all the famous landmarks, but haven't really done anything more than get a postcard picture. They haven't had the curiosity to explore, nor the willingness to take any risks at all. They have never gone off the beaten track. To me, that seems like wasted opportunity, but for them, it might be enough.
I think if there were a few components for a rich life, I would say that it comes down to social relationships, meaningful activity, creative outlet, and love. It doesn't really take too much else to be happy and have days filled with what would be considered quality of life.
Yet we have largely bought into the life as a consumer that has been pushed to us, where we are made to believe that in order to have a good life, we have to purchase experience. We are always told to "buy experience, not stuff", but we seem to have failed to realise that the experience we are largely buying, is just stuff we can't take with us. It is just another form of something to collect.
Perhaps we should look at experience more from the perspective of what we learned, and what we are able to apply. Some people spend a lot of time collecting knowledge, but it is largely useless, impractical knowledge. They feel clever for having it, but all they can really do with it is win a game of Trivial Pursuit, because what they know is trivial.
Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more
Trivial
/ˈtrɪviəl/
adjective
of little value or importance.
It is not what you know, it is how you use it.
And I think this is the same with the experiences that we have. It isn't even how it makes us feel in the moment that is important, but what we are able to do with it later. Even love, which most people do want to have, takes a process of learning, failure, and incremental understanding to the point that it is possible to love, unconditionally. Many people these days are so afraid of being hurt, that they can never discover what it is to love. Instead, they devalue love by applying to whatever they happen to like at the moment, whether it is a person, or a sandwich.
Having rich experience isn't about travelling to all the beautiful places in the world, because that is only one facet of experience. Experience comes in many forms and half of them at least could be considered negative as they do not make us feel good, do not bring a smile to our face, and can cause a huge amount of pain. Yet it is often on the other side of these kinds of experiences that good experiences can be appreciated, and even the small, seemingly unimportant facets of life, become meaningful.
We keep chasing good experiences.
Without understanding what good experience is.
We too often define our experiences as good if they make us feel good at the time and bad if they make us feel bad. But, if we were to do the same with knowledge, we would put ourselves at a huge amount of risk, because we wouldn't understand risk itself. We wouldn't be prepared for what we might face. And I think good experience is what provides learnings for good living, which means it also has to change our behaviours. Climbing to the top of the Eiffel Tower provides a beautiful view over Paris, but does it shift our own view of the world? Does it provide the stimulus to change for the better?
Maybe.
But not inherently. Seeing that view doesn't automatically give us rich experience, unless we are attentive enough and thoughtful enough to generate the wealth from the event. Otherwise, it is just another trivial pursuit.
Many people don't actually think through the name of that game, especially if they are good at it. They think that knowing a lot to be good at it means they are intelligent, but that is not the case. It is possible to know a lot and be an idiot, if what is known isn't able to be applied.
A good memory doesn't give the hands skill.
A rich life is one that has variation within. A spectrum of experiences that come together to make us who we are. And valuable experience is when lessons are learned and then applied from those events to affect the things that matter to us for a good life; social relationships, meaningful activity, creative outlet, and love.
We needn't see the landmarks or climb Everest to have a rich life, we needn't ever live our own town. But, we must be open to the range of experiences on offer and be curious enough to walk down roads and talk on topics that make us uncomfortable, that threaten what we know. Too many fear being wrong, as they see it as a failure, to the point that they choose ignorance instead. Only taking part in experiences that they assume won't challenge their beliefs.
That is a poor life.
And the form it takes today is the life of a consumer. The life following what we have been told and sold, because it is safe. The feeling comes from attainment, not the journey and as such, there is very little to keep learning. The joy of buying a terrible first car might be greater than the joy of buying a Ferrari, because it was new, challenging. At some point, all the consumer experiences are the same, because it is not about the experience with the product or what can be learned, it is about a dopamine hit.
We can see so much of the world and take in so many perspectives, yet what are we learning from it that makes our lives better? We have reduced the value of our journey down to getting a postcard image of a place we never truly experienced. We reduce the value of our activity to the amount we can consume, rather than what we have learned that makes our lives richer, fuller, and filled with love.
There are many layers of experience, yet we have become stuck on the trivial.
If it didn't make life better, was it worth it?
Taraz
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