Well, that didn't quite go to plan.
Everything was going along well at the party until one of the more rambunctious of the children threw herself enthusiastically down a slide and hit their head on it. This lead to a headache, then some quietness and then when I found out, I said that she is probably concussed and her parent should be called. Which my wife did and once he got there, just as they were heading outside, she threw up.
It isn't a party until the ambulance arrives.
She was taken to the kids emergency department and was diagnosed with a concussion, so while now at home, has to be monitored and woken up every few hours to check on her. She'll be fine.
But I am glad I don't have boys.
Girls can get a little wild, but at this age, tend to play in pairs. Boys however are idiots in large groups, egging each other on, so concussions are a near-daily occurrence.
A little known fact is that the collective noun for a group of boys is "A Stupid".
Smallsteps was pretty disappointed that this happened both to her friend and at her birthday party. She was hoping everything would run smoothly and all would have fun, which for the most part they did - but when we headed to the car and talked to the father as they were getting into the ambulance, she got pretty sad.
We tried to cheer her up and say how these things happen and dealing with it is part of growing up, but it took a bit for her mood to change. Though, it moved a little faster once I mentioned that I would barbecue for dinner tonight, as this might be the last of the true barbecue weather.
I also felt sorry for the dad, as it seems that he is caring for the kids largely alone, doesn't own a car and might be struggling financially. The healthcare system covers all (nearly all) of the expenses in this case, but his daughter will have to be home for the next couple days also, which might impact on their family more than it may others. We offered our support of course, but it is unlikely he will take us up on it.
Which I totally get.
This is one of the parts of parenting that sucks, as it seems that we will far rather struggle than ask for help, or accept help from others. For example, when Smallsteps had to shift to a special formula that was costing us twice our mortgage, we didn't ask for any support either, even though maybe my wife's parents would have helped out. Instead, we just wore it on the chin and pretended we were all okay.
"All good!"
The amount of times I have said that over the years, knowing it is a complete lie is incredible. But, why is it so hard to admit that we need help from time to time?
Yet, having asked that question, I also think that the culture these days is more that people expect to be helped and they will ask for it before actually investigating whether they need it or not. Many will "give up trying" earlier now I think, which causes other problems. It is good that more are seeking help, but if not learning how to increasingly deal with our own issues, the help becomes a hinderance and something that weakens us.
Parents play a big role in this too, as of course they want to help their children, but if they jump in too early all the time, the children don't have a chance to learn how to help themselves. I think this is more prevalent now than when I was a kid and I believe it could be due to technological enablement, as we have more ways to stay in contact with children, knowing where they are all the time and they being able to contact us any time too.
When I was a kid, if I was out of the house and got into some kind of trouble, I was on my own with the resources I had available at the time, and my wits. My parents couldn't be there, even if they had wanted to. As a result, I think many people from the older generations have a different mindset when it comes to responsibility, accountability and independence. Younger people want to be independent, but they don't seem to actually want to learn how to stand on their own feet and want to have things provided for them.
It comes across as entitlement, but perhaps it is not their fault, because their parents have raised them in a manner that hasn't built up a true understanding of responsibility and consequence.
Pain is a good teacher.
Maybe if we bang our heads and get concussed on the slides of life enough, we will start to learn how to take better care for ourselves, and of ourselves. But, if we are continually saved, continually protected, continually wrapped in cotton wool - we never learn how not to hit our heads against the wall.
Being free isn't without pain.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]