Have you ever wanted something so bad, that you are willing to do anything to get it?

like an addict looking for a fix, it can present in some pretty terrible ways and down some dark paths - but I wonder how much of the brilliance of the world is created by people who have addictive personalities and compulsive thinking. It takes a lot of effort to be great at something and perhaps from the outside looking in, it doesn't appear much different to an obsession.

When I was a kid, I was concerned that I didn't have any passions or loves, nothing that drew me with enough force that I buried myself into it and became great at it. I was good at a fair few things, but there was never the passion, though I daydreamed about being great, the childish delusions of potential and opportunity.

The thing that held me back as a kid was the same that holds everyone back from doing things they want to do - fear. I an still very fearful of a lot of things, but over the years I have largely been able to tease apart the difference between legitimate fear inducing activities and perceived fear inducing activities.

The same wiring is used for both, so the feeling of fear seems genuine, but when looking at the cause, there can be vast differences. For example, the fear of falling off a cliff and the fear of looking a fool can both evoke a similar feeling, a threat to our person, yet one is physical, one is mental. Whether they are legitimate is going to depend on various factors, but our imagination can play tricks on us.

We can recognize how our imagination can control our body by considering a child who is scared of a monster under the bed - even though there is no reality to it, the heart beats faster and the palms can get sweaty. As adults, we can similarly feel the intensity of fear when watching a good horror film, even though we know the entire time that it is not real, it is just a movie.

A lot of our emotions are driven by the same mechanisms, where we create a narrative, the movie, that we play in our mind to generate a story that draws us in, connects us and raises our emotional stake and response, even if the story we have told ourselves is untrue, irrelevant, illogical and disempowering. Why is it that we create stories that limit us and hold ourselves back, rather than help us accomplish our goals?

Of course, some people take it to the opposite extreme, where they believe they are infallible, creating a fantasy of avoidance of reality to create a narrative that makes them believe they are better than they may be. In some cases, perhaps it is needed in order to create that mental edge over competition to perform at the cutting edge of ability, but I think those who do this, do so knowing that there is a lie in there that does not stick with them always, but in the moment of required performance, they want to avoid doubt in themselves.

But, we all fail at times, no matter what mindset we carry in, so we have to have mechanisms in place for dealing with failure too, and still being able to come back for the next attempt. Will the baggage of the failure still be present, will it create a doubt in the mind at the time of performance, undermining the outcome? Would it be better to forget the past for a moment and live in the present under an illusion of future possibility?

If you want it, you've got to believe

But belief is not enough, action is also necessary. And I think this is where passion is helpful, as it gives the energy to invest into a direction, toward something loved. It isn't easy to focus without interest and it is hard to have the drive required to become great at something unloved - but, if there is a narrative there that can fake the emotions needed, perhaps it is possible to fake the love necessary by focusing on narrow pieces and broad illusions. People do it all the time in relationships, why not in other areas of life.

Perhaps this is why so many people "get what they want" in life, but still feel unfulfilled.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]