It is coming up to that time of year, isn't it?

Resolution time.

If you are the kind of person who like to make and them like me, break new year resolutions, why not make them immutable in the Resolutions Community here on Hive.

Of course, while breaking resolutions might not be ideal, quite often we don't really make our resolutions in ways that are likely to succeed, because we don't identify the changed behaviours required, nor do we look at the conditions that might hold us back. And, we don't even consider if we are the kind of person who can accomplish it.

Saying "I want to get fit" and signing up at a gym on January, generally fails. Not because we don't want it, but because we haven't changed the group of habita we already have in our daily lives that have led us to not be fit in the first place. Habita are easy to give up for a short amount of time, but incredibly hard to stay off, of we don't change our surroundings.

For instance, a drug addict is likely to be successful of getting off the addiction while in rehab, but once they come out and enter into the same conditions that led them I to addiction, spend their time with the same people, in the same situations, will power fails. This is similar to people who go on stress leave due to workload - no matter how relaxed they are, unless they change the way they think and operate, they will quickly become stressed again.

Resolutions are much the same.

We want a result, but if we don't change the conditions, we are setting ourselves up for failure. So, before we even decide on our future, we might want to spend some time in the Reflection Community and consider where we have been and where we are currently, before deciding where we want to go.

One of my key takeaways from the book Atomic Habits, was how important it is to attach a habit change to our identity - to be the kind of person who behaves a certain way. And because of this, I think it is worth reflecting on the kind of person we were and the kind of person we are now. We can accept and love ourselves, and still acknowledge that we can change and grow, that we can be better tomorrow, than we are today.

Better for ourselves.
Better for others.

I believe that at the core of who we all are, there is an intention to share with others. What and how we share may differ, but we as a social species are made to transfer value from one to another. We are made to help and be helped, to improve, to withstand, and ultimately, to evolve. We aren't meant to isolate ourselves and insulate ourselves from one another, but the opposite.

What is your resolution?

It could be anything, and perhaps ultimately, no act is unselfish. However, being selfish doesn't mean none other benefits, nor does it mean others need be harmed. But what I think the better question to hel us evaluate our resolutions is,

Why this?

Why do I want to lose weight, get fit, make more money? Why do I want to volunteer more, give to charity, help others? Why do I want to run a marathon, join a club, start playing an instrument?

What is the purpose?

If there is no point, nothing that ties our identity to the action, we aren't likely to hold ourselves to it. It is a "nice to have", not a need to be.

If you had filmed yourself for the last year and now look back at the recording, would you be happy with who you were? Did your actions match the kind of person you believe yourself to be? Are they the behaviors of someone who becomes the kind of person you want to be on the future?

Out impression of ourselves are lies by unconscious omission.

And because of this, we set our potential accomplishments up for failure, because what we want and what we actually do, are not aligned. We might have all the right ingredients available even, but if our recipe and instructions are not in the right order, we cannot create the intended outcome.

New year resolutions are silly. Not because we shouldn't try to improve and reach goals, but because we should be continuously improving. We should have structures in place to keep is consistent and help us achieve our aims. The end of year should be a habitual non-event, as all year we have been changing, so all we might want to do to finish off the year, is look back and reflect on how far we have come.

How many of us are in much the same position as this time last year?