Today was supposed to be the birthday of someone very special to me. I had been planning for it for months, but due to several unforeseen circumstances recentlyy, my finances has been completely drained and I am masssively in debt. Over the past few days, I have been in hell knowing that when today comes, I will not be able to even do anything for her, not even to get her biscuit as a gift.
Today came, and I couldn't even wish her a happy birthday, nor physically be there for her, because it hurts on so many levels that I couldn't do anything for her, despite her having made her request since her last birthday, because this same scenario played out then.
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Things like this has a way of humbling you and getting you to reflect on the series of events and actions that is cummulatively known as "your life". I have been thinking about mine all day and I can't help several realizations. The biggest realizations is that most of wwhat I supposedly realized today are things I actually already knew a long time ago, but buried in my subconscious in my quest for having a positive outlook on life.
I was thinking about all the lofty ideas I used to have in my childhood/teen days. Then, the plan was to complete my higher education institution education by the time I was 22yrs old, own my house, car and company, as well as get married to my partner by 25yrs old. There was also the possibility of becoming the president of my country at 35. Like everyone that age, I thought anything and everything was possible and within my reach.
Now, I am already older than 25yrs and I am yet to complete my higher institution education. Still without a home, a car, a job and definitely a company, Still dating with no real prospect for getting married anytime soon and struggling to get my next meal. Like all young adults, I have now come to the realization that no matter who or what you are, who or what you know, no matter your religious or political inclinations, you can't have it all.
The generations of nowadays (especially those below 30's) think they can have it all and everything is possible. They will take this mentality into their young adult lives, which will just lead to them putting unnecessary pressure to succeed on themselves. For the weak-minded, this might lead to engaging ilegal activies to become quickly "successful".
If I could advice them all and the next generation to come, I would tell them not to put unnecessary pressure to succeed on themselves. I will tell them to know on time that you can never have it all; that we loose sone and win some. That there's no fixed template or calendar for how their life should go or be lived. I would teach them to live for themselves and themselves alone.
I wil teach them to look into the future and see if all of those pressure, those expectations, hopes and dreams are all worth it. Because, I'm sure they will discover what I seem to have discovered in my own realizations . That having lived a long life and seen old age, a new realization dawns. A realization that none of it matters. At the end of the days, at some adult or elderly age, you realize the dreams, goals, expectations and presssure don't matter.
Finally, if none of it all matters, why go to much length to get that house, car gadgets, thst marriage, that goal etc, why?? Anyways, I probably don't know what I am talking about.
