As I make my way out of the house, I can't believe how much things have changed. There is just so much television and social media can get you. It's been three days since I ran out of coffee and I had managed to function without it, but I would have enough. I needed to have some coffee, even at a great price.
It's been six months since scientists at the Dele Giwa Centre for Excellence in Food Development discovered the secret of immortality to be smelling coffee without drinking it. Since then, coffee has become a scarce and state-controlled commodity. It had come with lots of unintended consequences.
In the months that have followed its discovery, coffee shops have been transformed into centres of immortality where people go to get their immortal elixir. Those who could afford it, having gained immortality, had wreaked horror and havoc on the world, knowing they can't be killed. Centres had been taken over by gangs, cartels and crime bosses. The street had long ceased to be friendly or safe.
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Against my better judgement, I decided to venture out to get a cup of coffee from the closest immortality centre. I put on my bulletproof vest before wearing my coat. Opening my door, I noticed my neighbourhood had long ceased to exist as I seem to be the only one in it. By the time I got to the main road, I had come full circle, being plunged into the new world of war, terror and conflict.
I somehow made it to the centre in one piece, even though I had taken four bullets to the chest (thank goodness for the best). The queue was unending, but I had made up my mind. I watched as men, men, children, families and all came and went, seeking to have their dose of the immortality steam. That was the world we now lived in; one where everyone smelled coffee but no one drank it. I had been in the queue for 14 hours before I got my turn.
I would like a cup of coffee, please. "Sir did you say a cup of coffee", the girl at the counter asked. Yes, a cup. "That would be $42, 000 sir," she said. Sorry miss, I would like a really large cup, perhaps a jug even, I replied. Stunned, she responded, Sir, you want a whole jug of coffee? Yes, I replied. That will be $286,542. I stretched out my card to her. She took it and swipe, and in exchange for that coffee, I was $287,000 poorer (it's not like I will need it in the afterlife anyways).
Taking my jug, I realised that the whole centre was looking at me in disbelief. I took a seat opposite a woman and her two kids. For a moment, I kept staring at the jug, to delay the inevitable. After what seemed like an eternity, I took a long gulp. The whole centre exclaimed in shock. I would simply spend my life savings to deny myself the immortality they will kill for.
I refused to acknowledge their shock. I took another gulp, and another and another, all followed by many long gasps. The entire centre seems frozen in time and space. As I made to leave, I gave the card to the woman, mouthing my pin to her. I walked out of the centre, rounded the corner and went on my way, but I knew I was not going to be alone for long.
As I rounded a second corner, there were a bunch of people; waiting to give me a taste of the mortality I so hold there. 'Hey, man. Heard you drank a jug of coffee today. Got quite some bar, eh?", asked a young fellow. Yeah, I did, but not anymore though. Spent it all on that jug, I replied. "You must want to taste death to give up immortality like that. What say we grant your little sick wish" said another wimpy fellow in the small crowd by now.
Well, here it was; my final moment. Quite an expensive cup of shitty coffee in exchange for my life. Before I could finish that thought, I felt a blunt force at the back of my head and saw myself spinning to the floor. At that moment, I thought of one thing "That is not so bad". I might have given off a little snicker.
As my eyes close forever, I can help but wonder if those scientists had any idea what they were unleashing on the world when they publicised that discovery. I guess I will never get the chance to ask them
