I held the binoculars with a white-knuckled grip. This couldn't be real. Just beyond the falling curtains of rain, I could make out a figure. It wasn't someone on a boat or raft, it was a beautiful woman sitting half-naked on a floor of mist. I stared her right in the eyes, and I swear she was looking back right through me.
I dropped the binocs and wiped my face. The storm was picking up, waves cresting the bow as we smashed into the wind-whipped sea.
Raymond was struggling to keep us pointed into the gale. Connor wrapped an arm around the mast as we pitched into the next set of waves. I hoped Ron had stowed everything, because it was going to be a right mess if he hadn't.
"Try to keep our bearing!", my voice seemed to fly away in the wind, but Raymond heard me and nodded affirmatively.
The boat was made to take some abuse, but we hadn't taken her into a full gale before. This is going to be where our design is tested against the most invasive force on the planet. Wind driven rain and ocean water, pounding the bow with foaming fists.
A large wave pushed past us, breaking over the bow and drenching our legs with chilled salt water. While the ship was built for this, our attire was severely lacking. My calves already felt tight and dull, my body reacting to the chill by restricting blood flow to my extremities.
I lifted up the glasses again, and scanned to the bearing where I had seen her.
Her face had this radiant glow, perfect lips below a narrow nose and deep blue eyes. Her hair didn't seem wet at all, flying about her shoulders. She spread her arms and tilted back her head. A long note sounded, matching the wail of the wind and soaring higher. I was not on a boat in the pitching sea. I was a mote of dust dancing in a sunbeam.
The binocs hit my chest and I blinked my eyes, feeling a bit fuzzy. What the hell was happening to me?
The note still rolled on, over the water and through our bones. Raymond's jaw went slack, hands at his sides. Connor was still holding the mast, but had sat down on the deck. It almost seemed like he was sleeping. I wanted to move, but couldn't seem to care enough to do it.
The wind rushed by my face and the rain kissed my lips. I thought of her, reaching out to me through the elements and sea. I wanted to sleep. Anything but standing. Where we going somewhere? It all seemed to ridiculous now. Like planning a marathon while resting on your pillow.
Never mind, just turn over. It can wait.
The waves rocked the boat, and I fell asleep.
Greyness. The ever present feel of moist air and lapping waves. I'm thirsty. What time is it? Oh, the storm. The storm!
I sat up, groggily trying to get my bearings. The sea was dead calm. Had we passed the storm already? It didn't make any sense.
It was then I noticed Connor wasn't on deck.
How long had it been? Hours? Days? I shook my head as I stood up, taking stock of the situation. Raymond was slumped over the wheel, sleeping in a half-standing position. I wasn't sure where Don was. He must still be below. Walking past the mast, I looked starboard and saw Connor's hat, bobbing in the water.
Overboard? Could we even find him in this fog? I called out his name, but was only met with muted silence. Nothing but the sloshing of water. I'd better check below, see if things are okay.
Another note, sliding from the high of the scale down to a tone that resonated in my lungs. I resisted the urge to dive into the water, to swim in its direction. I was hungry. It had to have been more than hours, judging by how my stomach was complaining.
Ducking down past the bulkhead, I descended the steps to the galley. I could still feel the song, pulling at my core. Don was sitting at the table, head on folded arms. I bent lower and could hear him breathing. I better leave him be. Until I figure out what the hell is going on.
I was going back up on deck, when I heard the splash.
Rushing to the starboard side, I gripped the railing and scanned the water. Raymond's head broke the surface, feet churning the water as he swam away. The song wanted me to join him. I bent down, one knee on the deck, gritting my teeth. It felt so wrong, like holding your breath.
Don't resist, just give in. Let the song carry you to the shores, where she waits for you.
My stomach grumbled and snapped me out of my trance. Oh my god, hunger. Its the only thing stopping me from doing what Raymond did. I bent over the rail, staring at the water. My reflection was tired and haggard. Stubble on my chin. I rubbed my face, trying to get the song out of my head. The call came from everywhere, but I knew I would go starboard if I gave in.
Somehow, I knew exactly where she was.
"I can't do this.", I jumped out of my skin, turning around. Don was standing on deck wearing his chef apron. The front was slick with blood. In one hand, a knife. The other had a long gash from the palm to his elbow, dripping red blood on to the deck.
"Don, what the hell are you doing?"
Don looked at me, or rather THROUGH me, and took a step forward. His face was twisted with pain and confusion.
"I...I....can't.", long arc with the blade, across his throat.
A red spray shot over the decking as Don slumped to the floor. Stunned, I backed away, pawing at the rail. Blood mixed with water on deck, swirling past dulled eyes. I couldn't save him. I wanted to move, apply pressure and try to stop the bleeding. But I knew it was too late.
The song swelled, pulling and teasing.
Come join us. You can have me. Let me hold you in my arms. Sleep forever. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Stumbling to the wheel, I pushed the engine start. A rumbling tone, green light glowing. Thank heavens.
Ripping two lengths of cloth from my jean shorts, I tied my wrists to the console. Double knotted, just to be sure. Spinning the wheel, heading away from where my soul wanted to go. I pushed the throttle full forward, and locked it in place. Doing the same for the wheel, I leaned back.
Wrists still tied, stomach churning. I didn't dare eat a thing.
That's why you found me, out here in the South Pacific. Fuel long gone, lips cracked and parched. Tied to the wheel. Dead body on deck.
Its why I can't return, ever again.
I still hear her song in my mind. And I want to swim.
Swim until I'm in her loving arms.
(This is a multi-part story. Confused? Start here - Part One)
