The value of a thing lies not in what one attains with it but what one pays for it, i.e what it costs us.
I think on a broader sense, life in itself can be viewed as a transactional experience.
On basic level, there's always destruction and construction happening. Plants, animals and humans to a certain extent, all participate in this exchange economy of energy and resources.
Perhaps that's one of the reasons why people say if one is not growing, then they're dying.
Being stagnant for the most part is just a temporary phase that eventually gives way to either growth or decline.
They say nature abhors a vacuum, and similarly, life resists stasis. The moment we stop investing ourselves in growth, decay begins its quiet work.
Even when I think, I'm expending some form of energy to facilitate the creation of new neural connections and insights. It's a similar situation when I take action.
On a basic level, I have to give something to get something, and when you expand it to society at large, one could say civilization itself is one giant transactional event.
Now, it is commonly understood that a transaction happens when the perceived value is greater than the associated cost.
I think this is much easier to discern with material goods and services.
But there's always some form of subjective valuation, part of the reason being that we're primarily emotional creatures who'd rather seek meaning than maximize utility.
Consider a handmade ceramic mug purchased from a local artisan for $30 versus a similar mass-produced one from a chain store for $8.
Economically speaking, the mass-produced mug offers better "utility per dollar." However some of us willingly pay the premium for the handmade version, simply because we value the human connection or the story behind it.
Arguably, things we value most deeply are frequently those that demand the greatest investment of ourselves. A relationship that costs us nothing—no vulnerability, no compromise, no forgiveness—is unlikely to hold significant meaning.
We value what costs us, perhaps because the payment itself transforms us. When we pay with our effort, attention, or even discomfort, we become slightly different people who are more capable of appreciating the value of what we've gained precisely because we understood its cost.
Of course, there are hidden costs in our transactions that we often overlook, especially from a modern sense. I think the hidden costs for purchasing convenience is we pay with reduced skills or diminished resilience.
Choosing immediate gratification could mean indirectly paying with our long-term well-being and a transaction like checking social media seems free but costs us our focused attention.
These shadow prices don't appear on any receipt but they do accumulate silently in the ledger of our lives.
Also, when we encounter values that resist quantification altogether, how do we honor them without reducing them to transactions?
For instance, can we really speak of "paying" for love, as in offering loyalty and commitment with the expectation of receiving the same?
If you'd asked a young savvy dating coach on social media, he/she will probably say yes.
Maybe the reasoning will be something like "love languages are essentially currencies, you pay in acts of service and receive in words of affirmation or vice versa.
Modern people are both blessed and burdened by this transactional awareness.
Being sophisticated enough to recognize the exchanges underlying our lives tends to prevents us from experiencing the grace of things freely given and received.
Experientially, one of the most valuable transaction is the one where we give our full presence to each moment, paying with our sincere attention—the only currency that truly belongs to us—and receiving in return the irreplaceable experience of a life fully lived.
It's a work in progress, one day at a time.
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