Su solo nombre nos dice que es volver a sentir (Re-sentir). Es una respuesta que adoptamos ante un evento que codificamos como negativo. Es una reacción automática cuando percibimos que algo nos hiere. Es algo muy personal, ya que no todos reaccionamos igual, lo que para mí puede ser una ofensa, para otro puede pasar desapercibido, todo dependerá del entorno de cada quien. También es cierto que es algo que podemos evitar, si trabajamos en programar nuestra mente para que reaccione de manera distinta a esos estímulos que consideramos un ataque. Una vez leí que: no toda ofensa produce resentimiento, pero que todo resentimiento sí va precedido de una ofensa.
Resent...
Its very name tells us that it is to feel (Re-sentir) again. It is a response that we adopt to an event that we code as negative. It is an automatic reaction when we perceive that something hurts us. It is something very personal, since we do not all react the same, which for me can be an offense, for another can go unnoticed, everything will depend on the environment of each one. It is also true that it is something we can avoid, if we work on programming our mind to react differently to those stimuli that we consider an attack. I once read that not every offense produces resentment, but every resentment is preceded by an offense.
Como dije antes, esto es algo tan subjetivo... en líneas generales las causas que pueden generar resentimiento en un individuo son:
What can cause resentment in us?
As I said before, this is something so subjective... in general terms the causes that can generate resentment in an individual are:
- When he feels that someone offends him, shouts, insults or lies about him (whether it's true or not).
- Because he feels that he does not have something that he "deserves" and life "denies" him. He may be unhappy with his financial situation or perhaps have a partially disabling condition.
- Envy. When he sees that others have what he wants.
- When he does not receive the recognition he expects (a thank you, a call, being included...) for something he did and which he thinks deserves to be rewarded.
Las razones pueden ser tan reales, como imaginarias, todo depende del sujeto. Puede ser que alguien se sienta ofendido porque le golpearon o puede haber quien reaccione de la misma manera, con apenas un tropiezo. Hay quienes sienten un inmenso dolor, por algo que alguien querido dijo de él; como puede ser que sienta el mismo dolor, por algo que cree que ese alguien piensa de él. A veces basta con la omisión de un simple saludo, para desatar una cadena de pensamientos negativos, cuando muy probablemente esa persona sólo no lo vio.
The reasons can be as real as they are imaginary, it all depends on the subject. It may be that someone feels offended because he or she was hit, or there may be someone who reacts in the same way, with just a stumble. There are those who feel immense pain, because of something that someone loved said about him; as it may be that he feels the same pain, because of something that he thinks that someone thinks about him. Sometimes the omission of a simple greeting is enough to unleash a chain of negative thoughts, when most likely that person just didn't see it.
Probablemente al producirse la “ofensa” no podremos evitar que nos duela, independientemente de la mucho que nos esforcemos, porque estamos en el plano de lo emocional, el menos sencillo que existe. La idea es manejarlo adecuadamente en ese momento, para que no permanezca en nosotros como resentimiento.
So what can we do?
Probably when the "offense" occurs, we will not be able to prevent it from hurting, no matter how hard we try, because we are on the emotional plane, the least simple one there is. The idea is to handle it properly at that moment, so that it doesn't remain in us as resentment.
Si no usamos la razón, nuestra reacción ante la “amenaza” siempre será negativa. Por eso debemos de alguna forma entrenar nuestra respuesta ante este tipo de estímulos. Debemos recordar que: Tú no me haces daño, yo te lo permito. No importa cuánto intente otro ofuscarnos, perdemos cuando le damos el poder de lograrlo. No podemos controlar lo que los demás hacen, pero sí la manera cómo respondemos a eso. Esa es la clave.
If we don't use reason, our reaction to the "threat" will always be negative. That is why we must somehow train our response to this type of stimulus. We must remember that: You don't hurt me, I let you. No matter how much another tries to obfuscate us, we lose when we give him the power to do so. We cannot control what others do, but we can control how we respond to it. That's the key.
Hay una estrategia que llegué a ver en un video y me pareció muy útil: la gente no TE hace cosas, sólo hace cosas. Por ejemplo si alguien te grita, puedes verlo como que ese alguien grita ( le quitas el TE), y así lo sacas de tu plano personal; porque ciertamente si alguien intenta dañarte de alguna manera, con o sin intención, sucede porque esa persona no está bien, es su reacción, no tiene que ver contigo. Cada quien libra su batalla lo mejor que puede, así que no debemos incluirnos en batallas ajenas.
There's a strategy that I saw in a video and I found it very useful: people don't do things to YOU, they just do things. For example, if someone yells at you, you can see it as that someone yells (you take away the TE), and so you take it out of your personal plane, because certainly if someone tries to hurt you in some way, with or without intention, it happens because that person is not well, it is his reaction, it has nothing to do with you. Everyone fights his own battle as best he can, so we should not include ourselves in other people's battles.
Por otra parte es importante aceptar que todo lo que nos sucede tiene su razón de ser, a sea para crecimiento, aprendizaje, karma... lo que sea. El punto abandonar el plano de víctimas e intentar superar la situación que se nos presente de la mejor forma, porque si nos quedamos estancados en el: yo no merezco esto, ¿por qué me pasa a mí? Nos quitamos el poder de tomar el toro por los cachos y avanzar. Por lo que general, cuando sucede algo que me duele, en primer lugar lo acepto, aunque no lo entienda, veo que debo aprender de esa situación y luego lo dejo en manos de Dios, con la certeza de que con el tiempo sabré ver el propósito.
On the other hand it is important to accept that everything that happens to us has its reason for being, whether for growth, learning, karma ... whatever. The point is to leave the victim plane and try to overcome the situation that presents itself in the best way, because if we get stuck in the: I don't deserve this, why does it happen to me? We take away the power to take the bull by the horns and move forward. So, generally, when something happens that hurts me, first I accept it, even if I don't understand it, I see that I must learn from that situation and then I leave it in God's hands, with the certainty that in time I will know how to see the purpose.
Let us always remember how valuable we are. From self-esteem we can successfully overcome all adversities.
Emoticones personalizados con la aplicación Bitmoji, descargada desde Play Store para Android. Traducción cortesía de deepl.com.
Customized emoticons with the Bitmoji app, downloaded from the Play Store for Android. Translation courtesy of deepl.com.
