I picked up my Saxophone and looked into the crowd. I felt my nervousness creep up on me. "I can do this", I said to myself. I've played my entire life.
I remember starting to play when I was 8 years old and trying to convince my mom to play Tuba. The music teacher thought it was a crazy idea and suggested I start playing Saxophone.
I chuckled to myself. That day changed my life. I ended on a path that led me to a Music Performance degree in College.
I looked up at the crowd.
I've done this before, I've played in front of people many times.
But this time was different. It was Infront of my friends and family. The most intimate setting I've ever played in.
It's fine, I thought to myself. Breathe.
I closed my eyes, and played.
[Played "I can't help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley.]
That's how long it's been since I picked it back up. I had played my entire life, but ended up getting caught up in my Masters in IO psychology, kids, work.... Life.
I had thought about picking it back up many times but never found the chance.
My previous music professor reaches out to me.
She said she had started a community band at her university and was wondering if I'd like to come and play. I was reluctant, I hadn't played in years, but what did I have to lose? I knew Music brought me a sense of peace, and I've been wanting to play, so I said yes.
Tonight was the night and it felt good to take it out again.
I wasn't sure if I could play like I used to, or if it would come back to me, but I was going to try.
Playing today is different than what it would have been seven years ago however. With all the Covid restrictions, one of the requirements is that you have to wear a mask. What's odd about this, is that in order to wear a mask while playing, you have to cut an opening in it. You'd think that defeats the purpose, but I guess research has shown it's effective, and we'll, Universities have now allowed this.
I sat in my seat, the conductor passes out books with scales.
$0.75! "Where did this thing come from?" I laughed to myself. Apparently I wasn't there only one laughing, as everyone else noticed the price range on the book. Turns out the conductor found them in an old closet in the University, still in great condition. So we played the scales and warmed up.
The tempo is fast, and the time signature shows the half notes get a beat, with the time signature changing numerous times throughout the arrangement.
The conductor raised her arms.
"Can I do this? Don't squeek!!" I thought to myself
I breathe in. I play.
Everything comes out clear. It feels exciting. I am playing again and I'm sight reading as if I never stopped playing. "Am I really doing this?" I thought to myself.
I am, and this is what I've needed the last seven years.
