How did I know | TRANSition Diary

"When did you realize you were different?"

When?

Maybe during that one Sunday afternoon when I was home alone and decided to put a towel in my head and acted as if it was my hair, with my sister's pair of heels, which was probably too big for my eight year old feet, I strutted the kitchen floor as if it was the runway.

Or that one time in elementary school when our teacher separated the class by gender, and I had no choice but to be with the boys even if I badly wanted to be with my girl friends.

It could be that one time when we were rehearsing for Cheerleading and I envied the girl who gets to be held high and wished so hard it was me.

There was also this instance when I was caught slipping my feet into the pillow and sang "Part of your World" because I wanted to be Ariel so bad.

It could also be that one Summer Camp when I was forced to play basketball because they thought my height would be an advantage when I couldn't even dribble the ball properly and got mocked by it.

Or that one time in sixth grade when I was asked who my crush was and instead of putting the boy that I really like, I just listed all the names of the pretty girls because I didn't want to get interrogated even more.

It could be in High-school where most of the girls that I know started dating boys already and I felt left out.

Or when I applied makeup for the first time and felt really beautiful, like all those bullying from when I was younger just went away, for the first time, I felt like I was someone worth having.

I could honestly talk for forever but you guys already know what I mean. It was in those series of events that I realized I wasn't ordinary. That i'm quite extra to be straight, and too fancy to even be stressing to try.

And I know that I may seem pretty confident with how I present myself online, but there are still days that I completely feel like shit. I still face discrimination on a daily basis, and it's not just catcalling or rude gestures, it could be as simple as a weird stare from an older man or being a subject of laughter. This affects me, but after all the things I've been through, I no longer let it take an effect on me.

Being true to yourself can sometimes come with fear, but know that you're braver than you think, and as long as you have enough support system, continue being you. Because of powerful movements, our community is slowly attaining the respect we deserve, but we still have a long way to go.

This is Sway Cañete, living my best authentic life, and it may have been difficult to be where I'm at right now, I honestly wouldn't change a thing. If overcoming those challenges means being this beautiful and sexy, lol jk, if beating my insecurities and surpassing those trying times means being able to speak about it now and hopefully inspire other people, then I would be willing to go over with it a hundred times.

More of my story on my Youtube Channel

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