Since coming back home yesterday to an empty house and a note on the table, I've been calling Jessica. Twenty-five times yesterday with no reply.
I called ten times already today with the same outcome. The weight of the unexpected breakup was killing me, but not as much as the information I'd kept secret.
I was resigning for the morning when she finally picked.
Ray
her soothing voice called, sounding as sad as I felt.
You know I don't have to pick your calls.
Yes sweety, this would be the last.
I sat weakly on a dinning chair.
I promise to be brief.
Alright, I'll listen as long as you don't attempt to change my mind.
No, I wouldn't. You left to marry the other man as I was taking too long to put the ring on your finger, that's an understandable reason.
I paused.
Silence from her end.
I want to tell you I regretted what happened last night and I'm sorry
Why? She sounded hurt.
We were supposed to abstain till marriage.
Wait. The feelings were intense and...
We could have stopped, I should have stopped us
I shifted uneasily in my chair. **Later that night, when you were fast asleep, I cried bitterly. You looked so beautiful.
Why would you do that?
I'm positive Jess
How... You mean...
I mean I've got HIV; been living with it since 25.
Ray...
I ended the call and wept.
