Between my parents, my mother is the war! You misbehave or try to act funny with my father and you get a warning. Try it with my father’s-wife...Hehe.
One mistake I made as a kid was pranking my mother. The typical African mother does not have time for nonsense. They are not patient. Having to deal with their spouse, restive kid, running their home, their business/job and dealing with themself can be tedious to them. Their blood de quick hot. And for my Mama who had to deal with thenumber of boys she had, in my kid sister's words, "her head de always scatter".
Over twenty years ago, sometime in the year, the kids in my compound, my playmates and I decided we were going to prank our family members. Kids being kids, we decided that we would cover ourselves using a wrapper, stand behind a door and when a member of our family was walking in through the door, we would yell, "Hooo!"
My friend, Daniel, did his own. He pranked his mother, and myself and two of our other prank-team-members were there to witness the outcome. His mother shouted, "Abasi!""Jesus"!!, "Jesus...!!" and Daniel and the rest of us burst out laughing. She stopped yelling, her hands on her chest and her face clouded in fright.Yet, when she realized what had happened, she joined In on the laughter and called him a yeye boy.
Chiboy did his own and his mother was not frightened one bit.
She just laughed. Every other kid did theirs.
… .Until it got to my turn.
I decided I was going to prank my mother. I could guess my dad’s reaction so I did not want to go for him. But with my mother, things were different. My mother was always acting like stone-cold. I knew she was not as stiff as she acted. I planned my act for nighttime. My mother was making dinner, I went into her room to get and put on her white long nightdress. I painted and smeared her white powder all over me. I stood at a corner between the kitchen and the living room. Immediately I sighted daughter of Zion coming in, I turned my back to her, I started making "incantations" (mumbo-jumbo) and dancing.
As soon as she heard the strange sound and saw the figure dancing strangely, she threw the contents in her hand(a washbasin and that old kerosene Lantern) and took off running. As she was running, she was screaming, "Jesus!" "Jesus!" "Obara Jesus!" "blood of Jesus!".
Stupid as I was, and also because I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I burst out in laughter. When daughter of Zion heard me laughing she stopped running and turned back to me. She proceeded to pick the lantern - it's globe already broken. I should mention that my friends were just outside the door to witness everything and at the time I started acting, my dad was walking into the house.
They all laughed: my friends and my father but, my mother did not. I was expecting her to join in the laughter. She did not. She made to walk past me, when she got close enough to me, she grabbed me and sent me to meet the Jesus she was calling out to seconds earlier(for help) to ask if what I did was right. Till date, I dislike April...that event happened in April.
That day, my life flashed before my eyes. i remember it was Daniel that brought up the prank idea and ’m not surprised that we never get along on anything.
Stupid boy that wanted to kill me.
Such an unfriendly friend. Tsk!
I hope this made you laugh.
Thank you for stopping by.