It was a bit alarming the day that the rocks starting rain down on our tin roof. As my wife and I struggled to determine what was happening, we could hear the laughter of several neighborhood boys running away from our house. And as I peeked outside of the front door, all I saw was the back of their school uniforms and dark hair rustling as they ran away.

Our family had never experienced anything like this since we had moved overseas. We deeply loved our life in Indonesia, but there were moments that deeply challenged our family.

If this had been an isolated incident, I think that I could have shrugged it off as "boys being boys." But when the rocks kept raining down on our roof day after day, my annoyance started growing into something more.

I tried my best to see who was throwing the rocks, but the neighborhood boys always alluded me. It seemed like they enjoyed this game of cat and mouse. Though I am not as quick as I use to be, I would almost bet that they started racing past my home even before they threw the rocks. Though small in size, the rocks echoed like thunder on our tin roof.

I was almost ready to walk up and down the neighbor so that I could have a discussion with all the parents who would lend me their ear.

East Meets West

I was thinking about how to solve the "problem" from my western mindset. And if I had been able to execute my plan, I would have created greater chaos. I feel confident that the rocks would have kept coming. The rain would not have stopped.

My mind kept reeling about how I could resolve this discomfort for my family while maintaining a good standing with our community. I recalled a story that I had read several years before about a woman who was dealing with conflict in the country where she lived.

The story goes something like this:

A young mother was struggling with the noise coming from a directional speaker that is attached to a local place of worship. It seemed that over the last few weeks the sounds had become increasingly louder. While he husband was away at work she faced many challenges as she raised her your family in another country.

Nap time had become almost impossible. Her young children were not getting rest, which was stressing out the mother and creating uneasiness in the family. She was at the point where she was ready to tell off the local community and religious leaders. She had had enough of their insensitivity. Enough was enough!

But she stopped herself and pondered about a better way to advocate for her family. A few days later, the mother was talking to the night watchman of the place of worship. "How are you doing ma'am?" he asked.

And with a calm and gentle voice, she began to explain that her children have not been feeling well because they had not been sleeping well. The man experienced genuine concern for his neighbor and asked if there is anything that he can do to help. The woman continued to explain that a recent increase in noise in the neighborhood resulted in her family's lack of sleep. And as the conversation ended, the man and woman parted with a local greeting.

Within days, the woman noticed a significant change in the volume that was coming from the speaker. She was able to get her children down (and keep them down) for their naps and at bedtime.

The woman avoided a major incident within her community and was able to advocate for her family. She had to act in a way that was not natural for her, but in the way that would be best received by her community.

I finally caught up with the boys!

I was working in the backyard while my children were playing. I heard the infamous rocks hit the roof and slide down until they landed on the ground. My oldest children were about 5 feet away from where one of the rocks landed.

I start running in a dead sprint to the front of the house. The boys were laughing as they ran away, but their expressions quickly changed. Their eyes grew to the size of half-dollars. They had never seen an adult man (with white skin) running down their street. They were scared.

I yelled out asking that they stop, and they yelled in reply, "We didn't do it!"

"Don't worry. I did not say that you did anything. But can you help me? Some of the neighborhood boys have been throwing rocks on top of my roof. Just a few moments ago, one of the rocks almost hit my oldest child. I would be sad if my child was hurt and it would be difficult to watch her cry."

"Can you talk to the neighborhood boys and ask them to stop throwing rocks on my roof? I would really appreciate it."

I walked away with a big smile on my face. And the next day and the next day, that same grin kept coming back. The rocks stopped raining!

Final Thoughts

Sometimes in life, we have to think differently. Sometimes we have to take a different approach. Sometimes we learn a new trick even though we are an old dog.

For the life of me, I can not remember what book I read that told the story of the lady and her kids, but I appreciate that it crossed my path at a time in life where I could apply the truth I learned to my own life.

I want to encourage you to talk a step back every once in awhile and look at life from a different set of lenses.

I want to hear from you!