Beginning To Become A Mom

It’s been almost a month that I’ve been in the emotional roller coaster of parenthood. The first week without a doubt is the toughest as I had to deal with post surgery recovery and at the same time trying my best to be strong as my little Marius had to stay a little in NICU. I had to recover quickly physically and psychologically make myself believe that I am already well and I can do ANYTHING. Including the back and forth from home to hospital, the every 2 hour pumping session to express milk for him, the stages where I am praying for him to feed well so we can already try latchinf, those moments when I was crying singing praises lifting prayers for his wellness.

Thank goodness that was just for a week... Marius’ second week was all about adjustments at home. These were the times that I am learning what the sleepless nights are about, what feeding patterns are about, how to change clothes and diapers, how to distinguish good stool to not, how to count his breath to make sure all is well. Second week is more of like getting to know each other stage. I am not yet on my focus at this stage, I feel like floating from lack of rest and sleep and all I want to do is to eat all the time to make sure I have all the energy to nurse him and watch over him. It was overwhelming especially during the times that he’s ceying out loud at night and fussy, only to know it was just gas and hunger
because he was not getting enough milk from me. Sad to say we had to give him formula much as I want to exclusively breast feed.

The third week is more of routine stage, I am now familiar of the signs when he wants to eat, to poop and to sleep. There are times that this sweet little one just wants to cuddle in my chest. Such a wonderful feeling that I cannot explain, everything is overwhelming but no complains, i’m getting in love each and every day.

Few more days and he’ll be a month old, his dad is thinking of creating ways to start our monthly baby photos while I am herw thinking when we should buy another can of milk and another pack of diapers 😊 oh yes i’m really now a mom. Everything that I am thinking about is about Marius and everything that he needs.

I am grateful to be a wife, now more than grateful to be a mom. God is just so good that he showed me what real love is, and it is being a woman.