And the song that popped into my head as I was getting ready to post this was, Vicarious by Tool. Fitting, I guess.
I'm exhausted beyond even what COVIDiocy caused, and now there's random stuff thrown not by work (though that's extremely stressful due to a huge half-year project) but by others on top of what I felt like was near the breaking point.
I'm reading a book (rarely, occasionally, in my 5-10 minutes a day of "spare time" before bed) that talks of willpower and that when we think we've had enough, we probably have about 40% more left in us.
I thought I had enough, about 9-10 days ago.
And today, it's like the spirit of Billy Mays said "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!"
but hey, i guess it's PILE THAT SHIT ON because there's like 40% capacity more eh??
And people might wonder why I feel like I'm living in the matrix. It's this shit, this shit right here, yo. Because I read about the 40% so somehow the cosmos thought piling more shit on was a good idea.
Nope.
It's not a good idea.
Fuck off, cosmos.
I'm not your pawn in chess.
Guess I'm about to go into Anxious Avoidant mode. Learning a lot about attachment styles and yep, I've pegged mine. If I'm not feeling like chatting, it might be because I'm processing some shit, it's not you, it's me...trust me.
