Getting Back on Track... A path to betterment.

1

I tend to treat life as a sprint rather than a marathon. Some mechanism ingrained in me attacks new interests with an obsessive intensity. I consume every bit of information I can on a subject or hobby, even spending money/sleepless nights dedicated to understanding and mastering it.

Inevitably, I get derailed or burn out before reaching mastery. I give up, put whatever was consuming the majority of my time and energy on the shelf and move on. I secretly tell myself that I will revisit it, adopt it again, this time as a regular part of a healthy routine in my life, but days.. weeks.. months pass. The abandoned interest gathers dust, the knowledge and skill that I so desperately sought after fade with any hope of ever picking it up again.

Like a poorly executed list of New Years Resolutions, these desires remain just that.. actionless wants. Hope is nice, but ultimately counts for nothing if it doesn't produce action. I am finding a theme.. a conundrum so to speak amongst these failed conquests of mine. While anything can knock me off course.. like a trip, or an unexpected visitor.. what keeps me down and out can be boiled down to alcohol, sleepless nights, and video games. These are my comfort foods of inactivity, so to speak.

2

I vow to straighten out my life every morning, but evening rolls around and I start getting excited about unwinding with a few beers, watching a few meaningless Netflix shows, and then knocking out the next chapter on the latest Fire Emblem game.

Pretty soon the beers and lack of sleep all but ensure that the next day is going to be as unproductive as the preceding one was.

It might be ok for a day, or a week, but in my case it strings together for months.. this has been a long string and I'm frustrated enough to do something.

3

This is where @steemit comes in. I started on this wonderful platform earlier this year. It was a transitional period for me and I thought I posting here could help get me out of a slump. I had been hoping to get a little social interaction and become part of a community here. So like everything, I threw myself headfirst into it. I tried different styles and subject matter, with varying results. Of course, as soon as my desires were coming true, I had to take an emergency trip to Bangkok, and then never got back into it.

I self-sabotaged. @hotsauceislethal was one of the first members to welcome me to the platform, and about four weeks ago he was again showing support by commenting and interacting with one of my posts, unfortunately that was around the time when I was starting to come undone, and I kept putting off responding to him until it was no longer relevant.

The same exact thing happened with @crypto.poitr, who poised a very interesting and pointed question to me in the comments. It was definitely an observation on the subject that I had not previously considered and one that merited a thought out response. I still think his question pertinent and will address it in a future post.

I also enjoyed regular interactions with @bozz, always agreeable and welcomed. He was able to offer insight and suggestions into a few of my posts. Much appreciated. Futhermore, @movingman came in and made me feel part of the team, offering some good advice to a previous down and out post I had made.

When I first started on Steemit, I was hoping to get back into the habit of running. A hobby I enjoy, but which had suffered due to sleepless nights and a lack of will power to wake up early. @steevc also has an appreciation for this hobby. He had shared his experiences with running on some of my first posts, posts that were graciously resteemed by @exhaust

4

I know there are a lot of changes going on on the platform at the moment, but I mention you for two reasons. First, and foremost, I would like to say "Thank You" for your support and for making me feel welcomed. I'd also like to apologize if I failed to reciprocate that support or appreciation at any time. I am sorry for not being as involved or supportive on my end. I am no longer hoping things will change.. I am changing them.

Which brings me to the second reason: As a way to shake the pattern of inertia I got stuck in, I am going to undertake a 30-Day Challenge! Something I thought up and believe can help. I will write up the details of this challenge in another post coming later today, but I needed to put it out there now.

I am not challenging YOU (although feel free to join me if you feel like it is something you could benefit from as well). Rather, I am challenging MYSELF to do a few things everyday, over the next month, that I believe will start to recalibrate my path to align more towards the kind of life I deserve to live.

To this end, I have to put myself out there. I need to make myself accountable.. to act, not just dream. I will be posting and updated my progress on my blog over the next 30 days. Please feel free to read and offer any advice, insight or feedback you may have. If you find me slacking, please, help me to hold myself more accountable. Not that you have to, but either way, know that I appreciate the support you have shown, and one of the major goals of the 30 day challenge is to be more present on @steemit, so you're likely to see a lot more from me in the coming days. I also intend to actively return the support you have shown me.

5

Whatever may come.. Thank you