I am not the type to be cautious about my actions. Neither one to be alert all the time what my next deed would lead to, nor do I have the patience to wait and compare it with the actual results. The rule went simple for me. Be how you feel like at the moment and live it like it is going on naturally. I am not fond of adding spices to the already mixed curry nature offer me. I am the man who goes out in the wild and accept the blooming sunrise with the same enthusiasm as the cut by a wild thorn-plant. But somewhere in the middle, I realized that no matter how carefree or merrily I try to walk on as I am; no matter how patient I be with people who don’t understand me, there get to be some assholes who take out the devil inside of me because my calmer self just can’t have it anymore.
Let’s not drift towards the “unholy language” here. I am a genuine atheist! The point came up when I am happily ignoring the petty ones and suddenly realized how I used to believe the very same people one day. It like you were born in a different land. Different culture, sport, lifestyle, and even the meaning of life itself. Now you leave that land of yours in a foreign land where you find a bunch of hoots who disregard you for being “different”. Well yeah. I am supposed to be different because they all just count the centimetres of each fish, where I am a whole different animal to them which they can’t scale. No, please. Am I being rude or ignorant! Are my letters getting inside your toe nails?
Nevertheless, it is neither the matter of being treated differently. It is a bit much worse than that. It’s about making the other person trust you and then taking advantage of that, you just to rip it apart. That sounds fair actually. A strange animal walks into your territory and you are just afraid what he is capable of. So why not just kill him before he even realizes what he can do. I guess so. Just hope he is dead; because I am not. And I remember each and every day, moment and the incidents where I was looked down upon, made to feel worthless, pity myself and leave even trying any further. I remember them all and I am not going to take it all at once. That would be inefficient which I am not a big fan of. I have decided to take it on the hardest way possible. I make them believe that they are supressing me when silently, I keep on improving myself. Improving till the limit that the light burst out from my skin and blind them with guilt and shame. The worst damage you can do to someone is make them feel guilty for what they did. Believe me, they won’t be able to look at you again.
