I stopped trying to be the strongest girl, and I’ve never looked back from it because the peace that comes with that one act is immeasurable.
I used to claim to be very strong emotionally, I still am, however, how I used to measure the strength is how much I am able to stay quiet in the face of abuse, tyranny, and how much I prevented myself from crying because instead of crying, I would rather move on to something else because it felt like it was a waste of time. What I didn’t realize was that I was internalizing weakness and living a life with a low amount of mental peace.
During the past months, I stopped measuring my strength with how much of these things I could take and still not talk, how long I could go without crying even if I was heartbroken, so, I started talking when I needed to, stopped accepting people’s excesses, and cried when I needed to, and I have felt the real strength ever since.
When I cry, it clears my head, my mind, and brings back clarity, peace and calm to my mind, and that’s part of minimalism teachings, peace in your mind, soul, and spirit. When I stopped letting people talk down at me, my life opened up to those who genuinely want to help me be better, correct me with much love, and my relationship with people have also gotten better with effective communication.
This year, I got multiple financial requests from people struggling, and honestly, because I am struggling too, I couldn’t say yes to their requests, and I was almost emotionally blackmailed into giving what I do not have. You see, I used to fall for that type of blackmail, so, I would call one of my very good friends, loan some money from them to give out, and then find a way to pay it back, but this time, I refused.
I tried saying “I’m sorry, I can’t help for now” for once, and I haven’t looked back from that ever since. When I cannot afford to help, I don’t make promises. The result? Peace of mind knowing that even though I don’t have much myself, at least, I am not in debt because I was trying to help another person.
Giving people advice and watch them do what they do with it without letting their actions get to you is one act I’ve mastered this year. Oh, this one? I used to be the adviser, the encourager, the watch guard actively making sure people don’t deviate from the path of greatness, but I stopped doing all those because people will do what they want anyway, so, why do I need to carry their headache?
So, I’ve been practising giving people advises, and leaving them to make decisions that they dim fit for themselves, and if the consequences of their actions come, they most times, don’t tell me, but for the ones that do, I empathize with them, however, I don’t waste my time thinking up another solution for them. The result? Being less active in the lives of people that see me as a dumping ground for their emotional baggage for their reckless actions.
Images are mine.
