Thanks for taking the time to read this. I've lost touch with all the old gang so chances are, if you're reading this then you don't know who I am - and if you're taking the time to read a post from someone you don't know then you're awesome.
Take a minute to appreciate that. Seriously. I can see you smiling - yes you, you're awesome. You're what makes a community. Not just supporting the people you know, but welcoming those you don't. Thank you.
So, many years ago I was part of this swell community on Steemit. I had a bunch of friends, we'd read each others posts, help each other out and generally chat and, you know, do the community thing. I wasn't anything special, just another guy trying to get by in this online world. Then life all got a bit much...
You don't have to read back through my old posts, but if you did you'd see things were heading in a rough direction. I needed help and that was a difficult thing to admit.
Well, I went out and got that help. I talked to all the right people and they took me from the wilderness and put me on a path away from the edge. It hasn't been easy but over the last few years I've turned my life around quite substantially. It all hinged on a few key points:
I'm worth more than money
I ended up in the state I was because, on paper at least, my family would be financially better off without me. I was literally hurting the people I cared more about.
But that's not the whole picture because "I'm worth more than money". I had to realise the impact that taking my own life would have had on them. I might not have been financially viable but I'm reassured they would be far worse off without me. And bless them, they tell me that nearly every day now.
"If You Think You Have Depression Make Sure You’re Not Surrounded By Assholes First"
There were people in my life that were dragging me down. They never meant to and I truly believe that, but they just had a toxic mentality of self-importance through putting others down.
It was painful but for my own sake I had to cut them out of my life. When I was with them, I could never do anything right.
Real friends build you up, not tear you down.
I'm smart... honest!
Way back in 2003 I managed to royally screw up my BSc in Computer Science. In my final year I went from a predicted 1st to scraping a 2:2. I've never forgiven myself for that. Now I'm putting the record straight - I'm half way through an MSc in Computer Science, crushing it by the way, and already preparing to apply to study for a PhD.
I needed that self confidence boost to show that, yes, I don't just think I'm smart - I've got a piece of paper to prove it! lol
Sadly, despite all of the progress made over the last few years one thing has gone decidedly downhill. My physical health. I have CFS/ME and for the most part it was very manageable. I wasn't very athletic, I had to take things steady but I got by. This last few years I've nosedived and the last 9 months or so have been the worst and steadily declining.
I now need an electric wheelchair to travel beyond the end of the driveway (about 5 yards from the front door!). I take hefty nerve blockers for the pain but some days I just curl up and hurt, unable to do anything.
But that's my body. My mind is still my own and, while it get clouded with exhaustion from time to time, I'm still in full control of my faculties and can talk rings around most folk who decide to get all opinionated :)
With my newfound confidence, mental realignment and zest for life I thought one day - I wonder what's happening on Steemit?
What the great-googly-moogly went on there? I leave you guys alone for (looks at watch) 3 years and it's all gone to hell!
Luckily I still had a few ideas or I might have given up there and then. I tracked down the PAL discord server - the old haunt from those golden days. I wanted to at least know what had gone on. I was pleasantly surprised to see some names in there I recognised... 
So, Steemit is dead. If not actually, then to me it might as well be. There's no content there any more, no interaction... so here I am. Hive.
Okay, so now you're about up to date. But if you don't know who I am, what can you expect from me? What will I be posting here?
Well, there's a few topics I'm likely to cover - beyond the standard "today I xyz..." bloggish posts.
So if any of that interests you... here I am. If not then thanks for reading this far, please drop a comment below so I can return the favour and check out your feed. If any of you think this is worthy of an upvote, much appreciated! (I have no idea if the upvote system is still the same - 3 years is a LONG time!)
