The weekend engagement blog prompt topics are here again. Jeez, the weekends all blur into one, time is crazy.
This weeks prompts include the one I have pasted below, which I tried to ignore as it does not paint me in a good light but the first step to change is admitting where you F'd up, right?
Living lazy
Write about a time in your life that you look back upon in which you were lazy, aimless or unwilling to make an effort, What was the situation, why were you that way inclined and, if you broke the habit, how did you do so and what was the ultimate result.
So when I lay bare the facts of a problem I have struggled with for more of my life than I care to admit, I should acknowledge that the use of the word lazy is probably being a tad harsh on myself.
However, the end result was zero progress, almost zero productivity and being stuck in the very situation I claimed I badly wanted to get out of.
Even as a youngster I knew I wanted a business of my own. My first jobs for a boss, were (in my na茂ve eyes), just a stepping stone to save up the money to launch myself in to the venture that would take me to where I wanted to be.
The problem is that venture kept on changing, seemingly with the merest change in the wind. It wasn't that I ever actually changed my mind about the feasibility, potential or possibility of the previous business idea I had been stuck on but that I decided the newest one was simply a better fit.
I won't go too in depth about the things I tried as I have covered them all in embarrassing detail in other posts. Lest to say that I sold diet shakes, books, vitamins, telephone packages, full utility packages on a self-employed basis as a means to raise the capital to fund my truly global empire which was (in Steven's head) an absolute inevitability.
There was far more ventures than those I have outlined such as gardening businesses, ice cream businesses and selling consumables at festivals but lest to say, none of them or the countless others I haven't mentioned quite 'cut it', in launching my entrepreneurial omnipotence upon the world.
The advent of the internet gave me a whole other arena of possibility and a multitude of 'business in a box' opportunities to spend an absolute bloody fortune to investigate.
Every time was the same, I believed 100% in the latest one and was gonna pursue it with both hands firmly grasping it, I just needed a little more learning to get me to the point of being ready to go full pelt toward my dreams.
So in the beginning, I would hit my local library and take out every single book on the topic at hand. Often I couldn't get every one with the 12 book lending limit so I would have my lady lend the others.
Later, when the information superhighway arrived, if you are not familiar with that terminology, it was a precursor to the world wide web or WWW. Currently just known as the internet, I couldn't even begin to assimilate every single piece of information on my chosen topic, whatever that was at the time.
But I just knew I was gonna 'kill it', with e-books, web site flipping, web page sales, eBay, YouTube or whatever was the latest niche thing that people were making money from.
I spent far longer reading and researching procrastinating than I did in my day job, so like I said 'laziness' wasn't quite the issue. I also spent a significant amount of my wages from said job, on systems, books, floppy discs (remember those?) and files that held the secrets to untold riches online.
I was just an absolute sucker for decent sales copy and had a na茂ve optimism that always believed I could make it in any field I chose, the problem though, I never really chose any field. Certainly not one that I focussed on for long enough, there was always something simpler, easier to run, more suited to my skills around the next paywall corner.
Ideas and industries literally came and went while I was trying to focus. I did 'dabble' in some things, but the noise from something better or easier was always screaming out for my attention and the all to familiar FOMO would kick in and my chequebook was out again.
When I realised that I was simply riddled with fear about something I genuinely believed I was incapable of learning or doing stabbed at my psyche, I was back on the never ending search for, what next?'
With the benefit of hindsight and some stark admissions after many conversations with myself, I now understand that I probably had a far greater knowledge of many of the businesses I had looked at than those making millions from them.
Oh I genuinely wanted to act, I wanted it badly, but fear, doubt and a crippling self view regarding my confidence held me in place and more importantly, in a job, working for a boss which I always detested the idea of.
If you know me, even vaguely, you probably realise I am still in a job while hurtling like a flabby, jaded, near washed up juggernaut towards the big 5-0. I cost myself big time!
Until, in my 40's I did have a spell in which I regarded myself as lazy. Oh I was still reading, wishing and hoping but ultimately doing nothing except my day job as I waited for inspiration to strike, (or so I convinced myself).
In the last few years I have unsubscribed from ventures that I always believed I would get around to trying. I have massively narrowed my focus on the kind of opportunities that appeal to me. In a word I have said a hard NO, to so many things that interested me.
I also did something very interesting, I took myself completely outta the game of reaching for online income until I had worked on myself in a myriad of ways. I have formulated a vision of who I am and put this to work in creating a plan for the second phase of my life.
While I was formulating my plan and dealing with many unresolved matters in my life, I was writing on Hive. You may have heard me say that I never look at my wallet as income that I intend to draw out and spend. This is true, if I ever had a vision of Hive booming to a massive price, I would see it more as a pension that I can dip in to from time to time as I age, but I am so committed to being staked in the platform as something I believe in, nothing other than this version really works for me.
The reason I mention this as important is that I would have been terrified of putting my writing out there in the face of criticism, ridicule and potential bruising of my ego. Hive helped me overcome some of the disguised fear that had been surreptitiously guiding the direction of my life for so long.
It has been the catalyst for me beginning writing on a ('non blockchain/crypto'), platform that pays for articles. My initial stages will be slow, show almost zero financial returns and will take a long time to cultivate in to an income stream that I could ever consider an income that could one day replace the income from my day job.
I no longer believe that the money must follow overnight. I avoided the temptation to launch this separate income stream / writing venture until I had written a lot on Hive first.
I am not feeling myself drawn to every social media platform to promote my writing from the other site as I know that will be too intensive for me. I know this is a poor use of my time and not something that interests me. This other platform has introduced me to a plethora of other similar sites to increase income...
Much of the problems created from my past stemmed from trying to begin multiple businesses all the same time. Saying NO, is an essential skill to learn if you want to achieve anything significant. Spreading yourself too thinly and feeling out of your depth in 5 different areas, results in 5 pots full of nothing, you can trust me on this, I learned the hard way.
A post like the one you are reading, although I am fully aware most people will never, ever make it this far through one of my longer posts, used to take me around 8 to 10 hours! Yeah, seriously! I can now do something like this in a couple of hours. I do not type fast, I make a lot of mistakes and need to edit a lot, but I enjoy it, so the effort/reward ratio does not concern me.
The fact that I have managed to speed up the process so much already, leads me to believe this will continue. Writing more will only ever sharpen your use of that skill, right? So I would assume I will be able to write more in less time as I move forward.
I could easily churn out 2 posts per day of around 400 - 500 words and reap greater reward from my effort output but that's not why I write. I quite often re-read my first posts here and can see a marked improvement in quality and that is the main metric I am concerned with. I get a lot of joy and satisfaction from setting out my thoughts here and in many ways it is for my own benefit.
I intend to focus on the things that will yield the greatest results.
My goal that I refer to a lot of being #fitterat50than40 is very much alive. The key areas I am concerned with are health, wealth and happiness. My new writing venture is very much a part of that. I have always loved the idea of making money from something I truly enjoy.
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!
@c0ff33a If you are an active UK member and would like to be added to the teamUK community on Discord, just let me know 馃槑