Toxic relationships (romantic, platonic or familial) all arise as a result of the selfish desires of individuals. It is said that toxicity arises from a lack of boundaries and poor communication but that may not really be the case in my opinion.
Everyone has certain boundaries that matter to them and this is communicated however they see fit. For some, it takes many tries before they get fed up and decide to either call it quits or call things to order while for others, it takes just one try or none at all for them to communicate what their boundaries are to the people that they're in a relationship with. Now, a toxic person will understand that there are boundaries that normally should not be crossed as a sign of respect for the other person but will still go ahead and push the limits to see how far they can go to check if they'll get a reaction or not, all in a bid to dominate and get the upper hand in whatever relationship.
People do not just magically find themselves in a toxic relationship with their friends or romantic partner or colleague at work or even family members, no. It is something that takes time to register and a lot of harm will already have been done before the realization kicks in, usually with the help of someone outside the relationship most times.
Toxicity in individuals reveals itself in many subtle ways especially when in close contact with such people but toxic people are also adept at hiding their true nature until it is too late and the ultimate goal is always to be in total control of the other person. For what reason? I have no idea. They just want to be in control.
Because of the subtle manner toxicity creeps into relationships it can be difficult to pick up on it during the early stages. Especially the gaslighting which is a very strong and lethal technique used to brainwash a human being and it is only if one has a very strong mind and will and is not easily moved by what is told instead by what is done will one be able to notice when someone close to them is being toxic.
We have all encountered at least one toxic person or seen someone we know in a toxic relationship with someone at some point in our lives and I can say that it is usually not easy to break away from even though the mind is willing.
WHY DO PEOPLE REMAIN IN TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS EVEN THOUGH IT'S BAD?
I don't think people willingly choose to remain in toxic relationships. Sometimes the abuse is so bad that life outside such a relationship seems impossible because the rest of the world is perceived to be toxic as well and many victims gain comfort in that thought, so they choose to stay and endure instead of risking freedom, only for them to go through it all over again.
For example, a woman whose husband is toxic and abusive will not be able to make the decision on her own to leave because she is unsure of what the world is like outside her marital home and if she already has kids with her husband, it makes leaving the man extra difficult. So, she doesn't just choose to stay in that toxic relationship, but is forced to due to circumstances because her mind has already been broken.
The same thing goes for children with toxic parents as such a child cannot just pack up and leave because the fear of the unknown is way greater than the fear of the toxicity that they face in their home and it can only take the intervention of a clear mind who will then show the children that the toxic environment that they grew up in and perceived as normal is in fact abnormal.
Getting out of a toxic relationship is not an easy thing to do and many have found themselves dead because they wished to have a better life outside of toxicity and many still have successfully detached themselves from whomever held them in one place telling them lies just so they feel small and don't leave. It really breaks my heart.
WHAT CAN BE DONE?
Toxicity comes from within, which means that we all have it within us to become a thorn in the flesh of the people around us but it is what we do with that choice that really matters. Some choose to let their shadow rule their every decision and others choose not to because they believe that the world can still be a better place for everyone.
The only solution to this would be for us to choose to be kind instead of seeking to control and hurt those around us. Choosing toxicity over kindness only hurts everyone in the long run and at the end, there is only regret.
A simple act of kindness goes a long way in calming a troubled soul.
All images used are mine..
