Everyone wants a beautiful butterfly
During the just concluded exams, my eyes were open to see the finer details of life. Train your eyes to be keen, and you will fine tune to a greater frequency. Keep your ears down and your heart humble and you will forever learn.
So this week while examining my sister's kids, precisely my lover girl whom I have decided to work hard to achieve a desired result in her academics, I learnt a few things.
Here is what I did...
I went all out to prepare her for exams. We revised all the materials painstakingly, making sure she understands that exams are important, and the need to perform well.
I had never repeated myself as much. I read the questions slowly and carefully, and the answers suggestively. When she still couldn't get it, I broke it down to her level of reasoning. And then the patience to wait the answer out was staggering.
I did the exams her way mostly, with lots of play. High fives, laughter, pecks and hugs to encourage her.
And the one she just couldn't answer no matter what I did, I forgave her and let it go. I let her eat in peace and moved on.
Some relationships are a great contrast to what I took time to explain above.
I must say that there is too much pressure in our society. Too much pressure for the other person to be 'picture perfect.' It seems as if everyone is expecting your relationship with your spouse to be as awesome as your pre-wedding photos(Thank God, I don't have any).
Nobody wants to work it out slowly and carefully, as relationships are very fragile.
Nobody wants to repeat themselves or take time out to break down to size for easy consumption. Some men be like, "take, swallow, or you go back to your father's house."
No waiting patiently for the other person to 'get it.'
I remember just like yesterday, when he'll tell me, "Sweetest, how many times have I said that particular thing you have just done?" And I will say 'don't worry love, I will get it. It took me a while but I am finally here. That's why I stuck to him.
He was the first person that illustrated the first two books I never published, and allowed me to just be without walking away.
Everyone wants a beautiful butterfly, but no one wants to sit for hours to watch the caterpillar emerge into a butterfly.
Ask a girl now, she says in a soprano voice, "I want a handsome, spiritual, money-making-machine husband."
Ask her, are you ready to give him rest, support him, cook good food with little money, and cut down your wants to give him peace of mind, so that he can focus on making money?
You go hear woke, and she go use grammar and thunder take finish you.
Again, these days women don't want to be behind and quietly push. The world has made it so much now that there is a scramble to be in front and dominate. If you are not in his front, it means to them that you are downtrodden or suffering in your marriage.
Some men beat their chest and say, "Hey, look how I built my kingdom, I made it happen while she was in the kitchen."
See, you have to learn how to escape the pressure, look your partner in the eye and say, "Darling, you are amazing just the way you are."
Forget the pressure to outperform and outsmart friends, family and society. Break your mold, and use chisel instead. Chiselling is art. It takes patience, skill, appreciation for finer details, and genius to chip the rough part out.
Some people go around with a mold to fit innocent people coming their way. That's why they are often disappointed and out by the end of the day.
Christians do this unconsciously. They forget how long God waited for them, and the million miles he walked patiently with them, quietly, silently and with no criticism.
They see you today, tomorrow they get their already prepared mold. They are like, "sister, here is the mold we made for you, it's just your perfect size, get in or get out. The church is Holy."
And sometimes when you do all and the person is not catching on, please let them enjoy a meal in peace. There is still time to teach, wait and win over. Refuse to be agitated, telling the whole world how you tried to help but the person is just stupid and too childish.
I can't say enough. Draw your lessons, share your thoughts.
Remember, use a chisel and be patient with people, especially your partners.
You are amazing just the way you are. Tell someone this today.
