Oh no. This ain't a good sign if you have a partner like this peeps:
I come from poor background, my mum and dad both worked their butts off to raise the family and we always had very modest birthdays and Christmas and it was always drilled into me that money is not something you should be wasting.
[...] My [partner] isn't rich but her dad was in the armed forces and her mum worked with the defence department so they were better off then my family. [...] [My partner] thinks we're broke but I actually keep a secret bank account, a PayPal account and a thousand in cash under the bed.
Hate to break it to ya', but this won't end well. You are hiding money from your partner, which is dishonest. You both come from different backgrounds, which is a disaster waiting to happen. And you know that your partner is reckless with money, which puts you in a tight spot as far as stress. Assuming you don't divorce - money being a major reason couples end, consider these facts as soon as possible to save your situation:
- Your partner needs to prove to you that she can handle a budget and stick to it, or else it may be time for you to exit the situation. Your partner is putting you in a precarious situation where one financial emergency could wreck both of you. Your emergency money would make her angry to discover, yet outside of this money, how would the both of you handle a disaster?
- I feel when a partner disrespects your money they are communicating to you that they do not value you as a person. That's it. Money takes work - energy, time, etc. Your partner is saying that your partner does not value your time, your energy, your resources, etc. WOW! Very disrespectful. Who's going to help your partner when your partner faces an emergency? You.
- Depending on the legal situation, you may be liable for any of your partner's financial recklessness. Think about that again and again. You will be liable for another person's financial recklessness - this is what marriage means. If your partner engages in foolish financial behavior, you may be liable for that behavior, even if it's not yours. That's a reason to consider hitting the exit.
Look at what you wrote. You know what you need to do here. You give your partner one final chance to clean up. No clean up, no marriage.
How would you handle a reckless financial partner?
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