I hated religion for most of my life. The Catholic schools I attended didn't help matters with their aggressive, prescriptive methods of indoctrination. My parents and five older siblings never spoke of religion and it all seemed rather scary to me. At school there were only a few other boys in my class who would openly admit that they found the whole religion thing something of a charade so we gravitated towards each other. Each of us respected the others willingness to speak what they felt to be the truth and each of us were suspicious of those who refused to express their opinion on the matter.
The truth has always been important to me and I suppose it has been a lifelong mission to search for answers in the hope of finding some truth that may satisfy an inquisitive mind. And so I spent many years with a scientific and sceptical mindset. I would analyse everything to depths others didn't seem to be inclined or able to do.
Much of my young childhood was spent alone in my own world, left to my own devices. I never knowingly did any harm to anyone or caused any trouble so I think this may have gotten me some freedom from my parents' interference that my peers were unable to enjoy. My parents were also old enough to be my grand-parents and had already raised five other kids before I came along so I think this also contributed to their more relaxed attitude to parenting which seemed to differ from that of my friends parents.
I was never told what time to be home at night. I just knew what was and wasn't a reasonable time to be home so I went home at a reasonable time. If I were to arrive home at silly o' clock, I knew that my parents would be upset and stressed and their faith in me would be tarnished. I didn't want that to happen to my parents and I didn't want to display that their faith was misplaced. I wanted them to be proud of me and for them to be able to trust me so I always did the right thing.
Looking back it seems to me that I was given a wonderful gift from my parents that so few kids seem to enjoy today. Being allowed to explore without interference allowed me to develop organically as much as possible. Of course the school system does it's best to stifle all of that as it fulfills its mandate of churning out good little soldiers for the state. But somehow I was able to observe the indoctrination of my friends as a kind of outsider as though I'd built up a protective layer around me. It was as though the religious indoctrination served as a warning to me. It seemed to confirm my suspicion that all was not as it seemed; that at least some of what we were being taught was not exactly the truth which I so craved.
The rest of my childhood, it seemed, was a case of fine tuning the inbuilt bullshit detector that we all have. Growing up in a tough, working class town like Wigan, you don't come across a wise sage or philosopher very often. In fact it never happened. I was left with a tiny local library for information and after being told I was only allowed to borrow books from the childrens section, my mum agreed to let me choose a book from the adult section if I were to go along with her. Mum was an avid reader. She would read twelve books per week from the local library. Twelve was the limit so maybe she could have read more than that if she'd been allowed.
Unfortunately my mum didn't read anything of interest to me. It was all romantic novels and tales of fantasy in far flung places as far away from Wigan as you could imagine. I wanted to make sense of the world, not escape it. Dad was a retired coal miner, I never saw him read a book. He spent his retirement watching TV and gardening.
The adult part of the library was bigger than the childrens section but I struggled to find much of interest. There seemed to be an endless supply of books for my mum to read but with no reference I didn't know what to look for. I did read some science and history books but they didn't seem to fulfill me. I was looking for something else. I didn't know what it was but I knew that I would know when I found it. I also began to find out that I did not have the reading skills of my mother. This was highlighted further at school when I began to notice that other kids in class were ahead of me when it came to reading. This came as quite a shock as up until then I'd gotten used to being at the top of the class at everything.
Today I still struggle with reading. It can take me days to read what my wife would read in a few hours. I constantly find myself having to stop and go back a chapter or so because I can't remember what I've read. The words were going in but they weren't sticking. I've read all sorts of books about all sorts of things but frustratingly I'm unable to recall most of it. I am left with the lessons learned from the book in terms of adopting a particular attitude to something but cannot recall exactly where that knowledge came from.
A specialist would probably tell me I have ADD and some other disorder or two but I just kind of got used to it and learned to take the lessons from what I read without worrying too much about being able to recall the particulars. It is odd when I find myself knowing something with no idea how I know it. It seems the information is in there somewhere but it presents itself in a kind of intuitive manner when it's required.
I first began to find what I was looking for about five years ago. Two things happened which allowed this to occur. Firstly my wife became unable to work and I was forced out of work myself to be her carer. Whilst this is tragic, it gave me time at home to utilise the second thing that had happened...the internet. All of a sudden I had the time and the tools to research anything I wanted to.
Within a year I had come to a very serious conclusion, but one that made sense of much of how I felt at school. I realised that almost everyone in the world was living a lie. My early indoctrination hypothesis had been proven correct. The world was nothing like it had been presented by the state. The more I learned the more I realised just how little I knew. I learned that I would need to dump much of what I'd previously held to be true in order to be able to see the truth that I craved.
The biggest stumbling block, I learned, was my atheism. It became glaringly obvious to me that atheism is not only illogical...it is a religion in itself. I'd been religious my whole life and didn't know it. The vast majority of my old school friends are atheists today and I suspect that was the intention of the state from day one of our schooling. It seems like they did their best to make religion as unpalatable as possible in order to keep us from something. That something I now know is spirituality itself. Spirituality had been well off my radar my whole adult life. I couldn't seperate it from religion in my mind and it fell by the wayside.
Thanks to the internet and many wise people who make their teachings available I was able to discover that whilst my mind and body were being nourished, I needed to complete the trinity by nourishing that which I'd been unknowingly craving all my life...the spiritual aspect.
As I began to search for spiritual knowledge I kept coming across the word 'occult.' This was a scary word for me when I was a boy. Dabbling in the occult was the work of devil worshippers and the like. Well that is indeed true but as usual it only tells one half of the story. I would find that 'the occult' was where all the juicy and useful information is to be found. In fact 'occult' means hidden. It doesn't mean evil or anything like that. That response is as a result of social conditioning.
So why is information hidden or 'occulted'? The answer is simple. Power and control. Those at the top of society are all occultists. In fact they are what are referred to by some as 'Dark Occultists.' This refers not to the knowledge itself but rather to how it is used. 'Dark occultists' use their knowledge to help their own interests whilst 'de-occultists' use and share that knowledge to help others.
The more one learns about the occulted world the more one sees it all around us in everyday life. It is everywhere and pervades and controls our culture. An example of this is in the music industry. The stars that make it to the top don't get there because they are the best musicians. The are placed there after making their pact with the dark occultists. You will have probably seen the 666 handsign that stars make into the camera as they look between a hole made with their thumb and forefinger. 'It's just a fad. They'll do something else soon' I used to say. Then I saw pictures of The Beatles and Elvis doing it. A little later I saw a picture of Charlie Chaplin doing it. This goes way back and was used when the most powerful weapon ever to be invented was first unleashed upon us...the TV.
The dark occultists have such a grip on the mainstream media that I can no longer see it without noticing their suggestions, symbols and false narratives. In fact as soon as I began to comprehend just how they use television 'programs' to program our minds into their dark ways, the television was gone, never to be seen again. A wonderful researcher and former DJ named Mark Devlin taught me about how the music industry is used to socially engineer us and whilst it was uncomfortable to know that my favourite music was littered with dark occultism, I can now listen to it with new ears and enjoy it with new found protection from it.
Indeed this is the whole point of me telling you this. When you know what to look out for you can dilute the negative effects that would otherwise occur. It is this nourishing of the spiritual aspect that brought me to the point where I found myself just a month ago. My wife and I were out on our usual early morning walk with the dog when I felt this overwhelming sense of energy rush through me. I felt every emotion all at the same time and my whole body tingled. I stopped, raised my hands to the air and my fingertips fizzed with the energy of the cosmos. The happiness I felt at that moment is indescribable and tears welled up in my eyes. I was breathing deep and fast and an intense warmth was welling up inside me. I felt totally connected to everything. It hasn't gone away either, I can still sense it now. If I stand outside and raise my hands as before it intensifies and the more I try to feel, the more I feel. I still don't quite know what to do with it but I know that I will know one day.
At the moment I feel a huge sense of joy and relief that I have found an answer to an elusive question that has niggled my mind for my entire life. I know it is wrong to use this experience for my own gain and feel sure that one day I will find a way of utilising this to help others. Maybe just the act of writing this down is the first step on that journey.
There is so much to learn and I'm looking forward to the next phase of my life as I uncover more and more about what really makes this world go around. I've learned that psychic abilities are real, that remote viewing is real and I know from personal experience that pre-cognitive abilities are real. There is so much more to all of us than the powers that be wish us to know and I hope that you will find your own way to some spiritual enlightenment if you have not already done so. To help this process I would like to suggest that you read about the Seven Hermetic Principles. These principles explain a set of universal laws that govern the consequences of our behaviours. These laws have the power to transform our society for the better if only we were taught them. Learn them and use them in your life and you will feel the difference and much will become clearer.
I hope you found this both interesting and useful.
Thanks for reading.
Images: Pixabay, unless sepearately highlighted.
