My jaw was slowly dropping at your first paragraph so much that I started replying before reading the second one start with 'jokes aside." You got me 100%.

As for furniture, hey it just takes one piece at a time to learn about the process and see if it's something you'd enjoy. With your design experience, you can reimagine things to revamp them, or if your wife gets you a 3D printer for Christmas, print funky additions and features to modernize them... like a hollow leg with a special built in drawer to store your hardware wallet.