Dear Steemit,
one of the worst things you can be is envious. It hurts you, and it can easily hurt others as well.
When you're jealous of something you are under the impression that you deserve it. You're not just sad because you don't have it, you also feel like you should. It's entitlement, which is in itself a toxic mindset. The universe owes us nothing, and if you didn't work for it, then why should you have it? Earning something is the only time entitlement is valid.
The feeling that you deserve better arises when you fail to practice gratitude. You are not focusing on what you have and instead let yourself dwell on what you could have. It can be anything really, a better job, a gaming console, winning the lottery, things that maybe you can strive for and maybe you can't. If you can, then do so! Wanting something is not wrong, I have a post that brings light to selfishness, but wanting is a waste of time if you don't have the intention to actually posses that thing. You can work out to get a better body rather than look at pictures on instagram of people who have done so and just be filled with envy. No good will come of that. Looking at other people's progress to motivate yourself? Sure, go for it! Just be conscious of how it's making you feel, because envy is not a replacement to hard work, and it is not a good motive either.
There's times where you can't chase what you too. Say your best friend has a boyfriend that you really like, how should you react? Well you probably shouldn't try to 'steal' him away, that is when jealousy starts to hurt others. If you feel you deserve him more than your friend does, that could easily turn the friendship sour and drive a wedge between you. You would resent her for taking something you feel you are entitled to. If you like him, it makes sense to be upset by the situation, but being envious of it is detrimental to your well being. You haven't somehow earned the right to have a relationship with him, and thinking so will just make you bitter.
Sometimes, it seems like jealousy isn't induced by entitlement, but insecurities. If you want something and you don't get it, it could lead you to feeling like you are undeserving of it. Sticking with the scenario where you like you best friend's boyfriend, it could appear to result in the feeling of being undeserving instead. "She's prettier than me, smarter, funnier, she always gets all the guys and no one ever likes me, I must be defective," was the thought process I saw lots of girls in middle and high school have. But is this solely insecurity, or is there jealousy and entitlement rooted in it too?
I would say, yes. Of course. When you compare yourself to others like that, you are suffering from envy. If you focus on qualities in others that you wish you had, you're going to have a hard time loving yourself. It is insecurities, and jealousy, but I think if you dig deeper the entitlement is there as well. You dislike that you are 'uglier' (not necessarily the case, but how people usually feel) and you feel you deserve to be more attractive. You aren't satisfied with who you are because you think you should be better, or at least have others start seeing you that way. Low self esteem isn't necessarily disliking yourself, but disliking the circumstances you are in when you deserve better.
So envy really comes down to entitlement in all scenarios. It can be hidden, and you can be jealous or insecure and totally unaware. But I'm sure it's always there. And the best remedy is, as always, gratitude! With a hint of acceptance, love, and self discipline.
Honestly, when I wrote the first sentence I was going to talk about being thankful of what you have instead of focusing on what you don't. I was planning in talking about the solution, and it turned into this, focusing on the cause. (which is always more helpful anyway)
So, as harsh as you might have found it, I probably experienced the blow of it much worse. I didn't write this from a pedestal my ego placed me on, but from a humble perspective as someone who's really insecure, envious, and if course, entitled. I basically just tore my reality to shreds, but now I'm ready to mend it the right way, instead of with excuses.
Feel free to argue with me or just downright say this whole post is bullshit, just know that it is not coming from a place of judgement.
