Dear Steemit,
Anxiety is so... isolating. I have explained it to so many people and not a single one has understood. Lots of people say they have it too, and then I see them work, socialize, live their lives just fine. Anxiety is a normal human emotion and I hate when people tell me they suffer just as I, when in reality they have a healthy amount of anxiety. Since my anxiety specifically is social, it's even worse when people say "I used to be shy too! But then I grew out of it." It really hurts. This isn't something I will ever grow out of. Not to say I won't overcome it, just that it's going to take a lot of effort.
When I open up to people about it, they pretend to understand. They say they support me, will try to help me, and they empathize with it. Then time passes and they tell me to grow up. Get over myself. Stop being a baby. It feels a lot like a betrayal and stings every time, even though I expect it. I can't turn to people for comfort anymore, I'll say I can social anxiety and can't do something if it arises, but otherwise I just want to be left alone. I will figure this out and overcome it by myself, since no one else can handle it.
I'm close to being homeless, to quitting and to just embracing how fucked up I am and not bother fixing it. Maybe they're right, that I'm just pathetic and all of this is my fault. Whatever.
