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Episode 2
Scene 1
At the Justice And Labor In Prisons Organization (JALIPO) of The Bureau Of Regulating Everything (BORE) government complex, Commissioner Roman Hounds is having a holo-conversation with Warden Jake Koff. Jake Koff has just informed Commissioner Hounds of Kai E. Rupps escape from prison.
Roman Hounds: You’re joking.
Jake Koff: I would never joke about a maximum security prison break. (pause) Perhaps a minimum security prison, but never maximum.
Roman Hounds: Has the Fraternal League Of Police been notified?
Jake Koff: Yes, the FLOP has been notified and they are organizing a manhunt.
Roman Hounds: I always love that word, manhunt. It’s so primal. And here I am, sitting in this mundane office with a poorly organized desk. (frowns) Jake Off, what do we know about the escape? Are there surveillance records?
Jake Koff: No, sir. Power was down the whole time.
Roman Hounds: And what about the guards?
Jake Koff: They were somehow knocked out with aerosolized sedatives. One guard reported seeing a drone deliver the sedatives, but he’s not so bright, so I have doubts.
Roman Hounds: Noted. And the biometric locks at the gates?
Jake Koff: Somehow bypassed.
Roman Hounds: Sounds like an inside job to me. Where were you at the time of the escape, Jake Koff?
Jake Koff: Sir, you can’t seriously be considering that I would be complicit in such a gross violation of duty.
Roman Hounds: Well, this was either an inside job, or this so-called White Hat wasn’t a lone hack job. He works for a much greater organization than previously thought.
Jake Koff: An interesting theory, sir.
Roman Hounds: Of course it is. I thought of it. Anyway, Jake Koff, do you have anything else for me?
Jake Koff: No, sir.
Roman Hounds: Very well. You’re fired, Jake Koff.
Jake Koff (shocked): But sir!
Roman Hounds: Oh, don’t act so damned surprised. Could you really expect to keep your job after this fiasco? Cobra, end call.
Call ends.
Scene 2
White Hat and Katia are driving to a small airport and are about to arrive. They will attempt to fly to Andorra to retrieve White Hat’s retirement funds.
White Hat (looking at passport): You’ve gotta be kidding, Cobra!
Cobra: Your tone seems to indicate a lack of actual amusement.
White Hat: The name you put on my passport! Mohamed Wang!
Cobra: I merely combined one of the most common first names with one of the most common surnames in order to be innocuous and blend in.
White Hat: Well, ya failed. Do I look like a Mohamed?
Cobra: No.
White Hat: Do I look like a Wang?
Katia giggles.
Cobra: Not really. Look, all those order-following goons at airport security theater look at is to make sure the data matches. They’re more concerned with your numbers than anything else.
Katia: My name is pretty good. Valentina Hart. A little redundant, but it’ll do.
White Hat: How did you come up with that one? Review some bad Valentine’s Day cards? (sighs deeply, looks at other documents) It looks like you nailed the death certificate, though.
Cobra: Interesting choice of words.
White Hat: And Valentina Hart is listed as my beneficiary.
Katia: Ya know, if you had put your money in crypto, we wouldn’t have to be going through all of this.
White Hat: I would have loved to have done that, but actually using crypto in simple, repetitive transactions of daily life isn’t consistently available yet. When I go to buy something, I wanna be sure I can buy it. Not hope.
Katia: Fair enough.
They make their way into the airport, get their boarding passes, and approach the rights violation chokepoint. Even though they’re in a terribly small airport, the line to get through the security theater moves maddeningly slow. A chubby goon in a uniform takes White Hat’s passport and swipes it through an electronic reader.
Goon (slothful demeanor): Move along, Mohamed.
White Hat nods and moves forward.
The goon takes a second look at Katia’s passport.
Goon: Really? Valentina Hart? Cruel parents. Move along.
Katia scowls and moves forward. After putting their bags through the scanners, White Hat’s gets pulled into secondary inspection. A different uniformed thug rummages his pasty hand through White Hat’s backpack and pulls out a tube of toothpaste.
Thug: What’s this?
White Hat: Toothpaste.
Thug: You know you can’t bring more than 2.3 ounces of any gel or liquid onto an airplane, right?
White Hat: Yes, it’s paste, which is not gel or liquid.
Thug: I don’t care what you say, you’re not flying with this.
White Hat: Flying with more than 2.3 ounces of toothpaste is quite audacious, I’ll admit.
Thug: I don’t know what that means. Get outta here!
White Hat and Katia grab the remainder of their stuff and walk to their gate. After multiple flights, dull and unsatisfying meals, a couple hours of upright sleeping, delayed luggage retrieval, and a few glasses of cheap red wine, they finally arrive near Andorra. After another two hour car ride, they finally reach the capital city of Andorra La Vella and are dropped off in front of Vella Banc.
Katia (amazed): Wow, you sure can pick ‘em.
White Hat: What do you mean?
Katia: It’s so remote!
White Hat: Ok, so you know what you’re doing, right?
Katia: I have to prove you’re dead, take 50K in cash, and transfer the rest to Valentina Hart’s account.
White Hat: That about sums it up, yeah.
Katia starts to walk into the bank and White Hat follows her.
Katia: What are you doing?
White Hat: Going in.
Katia: You’re dead, remember?
White Hat: Ah, right. Sorry. Gotta get used to that.
Two hours later, Katia emerges from the bank.
White Hat: What took you so long?
Katia: They have very high security measures. So the good news is I have the 50K in cash. The bad news is they don’t allow transfers to accounts less than two weeks old.
White Hat: So we can’t access the rest for two more weeks.
Katia: That’s what I was told.
White Hat: Looks like we’re staying in Andorra for a while.
Scene 3
Roman Hounds is having a meeting with Mike Rack from the Department Of Computers Radios And Phones (DOCRAP).
Roman Hounds: This is bad for both of us. If we don’t fix this soon, we’re both gonna get canned. (flustered) And I was so close to my pension.
Mike Rack: Yeah, well, at least you won’t be in a tiny cubicle at GoogAppleZon for the next ten years like me. There’s only so many places a nerd like me can find gainful employment, ya know.
Roman Hounds: That makes me feel a little better, actually. So Mike, I think Cobra is the problem. How else could so many security protocols be bypassed at my prison?
Mike Rack: Normally I’d agree with you, but diagnostics show nothing wrong with Cobra. Maybe Mr. Rupps does work for a larger organization.
Roman Hounds: Either way, we have to make recommendations to our bosses. I say we hedge our bets. I’ll recommend trying to find human associates that are guilty of helping Mr. Rupps, and you can recommend taking Cobra offline.
Mike Rack: That would take years!
Roman Hounds: Exactly. It’ll buy us time. Besides, if Cobra is the problem, then maybe starting to take some of its components offline might scare it into behaving in a more agreeable manner.
Mike Rack: You are extremely clever and deviant! I don’t know why the government would ever fire you!
Roman Hounds (blushing, effeminate): Oh, stop it, Mike Rack.
Scene 4
White Hat and Katia are just getting settled into a short term rental in Andorra. It has a charming, rustic wood and stone interior, but the furnishings could be better. They’re interrupted by Cobra on White Hat’s phone.
Cobra: We have a problem.
White Hat: I’m already a dead fugitive. What now?
Cobra: They’re going to start taking me offline.
White Hat and Katia gasp and share a dramatic stare.
To be continued…
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