I’ve had so much going on for the last few months. Life shifting changes... moving 1,600 miles away from Tennessee to Puerto Rico, leaving loved ones behind, studying a new language (very humbling), the thousands of little decisions involved in building our dream home here in Puerto Rico, etc etc. This all sounds thrilling and exciting, and it is! 😃 But this many radical changes will also often bring up any issues from down in the psyche that you thought had been resolved, or hell, that you weren’t even aware were in there until you turned your life upside down and shook everything up. When I get triggered I often write it out to sort through and find truth. But hell, lately I start to process and dig in to 1 issue and then another will pop up before I have resolved the 1st issue.
As a result I’ve probably posted less in the last few months than I did before the move. But trust me, I’m working through it. I have to. It’s how I find clarity and sanity. Ever cleaning my lense...
The main themes that keep popping up for me are SELF IDENTITY and the concept of REALITY. In other words “who are you? How do you know? And, are you sure?”
For example, I’ve lived my whole life as an adult who likes to bask in color. My home has Always been painted colorfully, an abundance of eclectic furnishings, even my clothes and jewelry were often ornamental or bohemian. At our old home in TN there was not a grey or white wall anywhere in my life. But here in PR, in the dream house that we are remodeling from the ground up...guess what? We have chosen to go all grey, white, modern, and minimalist. We have a mantra for the design process of our new home & life here, and it is:
Simple. Sexy. Secure.
And I like it! It’s fun starting afresh, going with a different style, and for once keeping things really simple and uncluttered. I’m finding a less cluttered house supports a less cluttered mind and life. 🧠🙌🏽
But then I tell my family members about this new style we are going with and they reply, “but that’s not you.”
Well who is ME and who gets to decide that? How does this concept of “who we be” happen in the first place? To me it’s a mixture of my hard wiring, my nature, my dharma, my purpose for being and a bunch of other shit that accumulated like a nasty crusty protective layer over my core dharma fruit. So lately I’m going though the process of peeling that external layer that has built up over a lifetime deciphering what’s true and worth keeping, and what’s a false concept based on fears and seeking safety.
You don’t have to stay the same as you always were. You don’t have to maintain who people think you are just for their comfort.
This is our task in life 👉🏽 Figure out who you really are. Peel off your exterior layers based on shoulds and fears, and then go be core essence YOU with all your heart.
(Photos of me/photographer credit 
