Finally the sun has set upon the land and the cool darkness has arrived. It's safe now to get out of my burrow and slip off into the cool night and start nibbling on some green. God I love fresh cut grass. I don't much care for Marigold's but I do love grass. Auntie is my favorite followed by a hearty Bermuda. That Saint Augustine gives me gas too and it bogs me down when trying to flee from those pesky long lipped frog things. Yeah the only thing worse than frogs are those damned grackles that swoop down out of nowhere and suddenly your just gone. It happened to my cousin Ralph last week we had been out foraging a little to late and the early morning sun was coming and swoosh all the sudden Ralph was gone and all I saw was a bluish black streak flying off into the distance.
Sure I know being a bug is an easy life you say. If that were true then you try it. Everywhere you turn are things out to get you. You jump too fast and splat all over a windshield. Wait to long and zap some cat has you in his claws and is toying with you pulling your legs off one at a time. Frogs, did I mention frogs? Disgusting creatures and deadly too.
Tonight too, tonight is the night. No moon out, it's pitch black and I'm certain no-one will see me tonight and I got this whole yard of fresh cut grass all to myself. Ahhhh, I got it made. But wait. What's that I hear. Something's happening. What is that sound? I've never heard this noise before. It's getting louder and it sounds like it's getting closer. Oh my god where did that light come from? Oh shut I better not move, maybe if I just stay here and not twitch a muscle whatever it is won't see me. My god that light is bright. Where did it come from? What is it? Hersh I'm so scared I think I'm going to puke. Don't move, don't move, don't even breathe they may suck you up into their spaceship and disect you and pin you to a board like they did my cousin Eddie.
Squish!
The end.
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