Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

Chuck Norris created his own language with signs such as roundhouse kicking people in the face. So if Chuck Norris is kicking your ass one day, he may just be saying that he likes your hat.

Chuck Norris did not attend school. The school attended him. Chuck Norris did not go to college. The college came to him.

Any conservitive estimate of the amount of presents Chuck Norris has received each year for Christmas is still in the billions.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Once I thought water was rain till I took a trip to outer space and saw Chuck Norris peeing on the earth.

March 10, 2010. Somebody attempted to give Chuck Norris his bithday spankings today. Upon impact of the first spank, their hand exploded. Nobody spanks Chuck Norris.

A married couple went to Chuck Norris for their relationship problems. The husband said, "Oh great and powerful Chuck Norris, my wife has lost the ability to feel pleasure in bed! What can I do to

No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.

The sunami in Japan was an accident. Chuck Norris just wanted to splash around in the tub.

Chuck Norris doen't always drink beer. But when he does, he prefers to roundhouse kick "The Most Interesting Man in the World" in the face and take his Dos Equis. "Stay thirsty my friends".

One of the main reasons there are so many mean fifth graders in the world today is because Chuck Norris stopped punching bad guys in the dick a decade ago.

Chuck Norris is accredited with creating the Watusi tribe after uppercutting a few Pygmies.

Chuck Norris once convinced a Playboy bunny to give him a blowjob while he was taking a shit

Chuck Norris recently appeared on the TV show 'Pawn Stars'. He got $23,000 for his used condom.

When Chuck Norris goes to a strip club, the strippers pay him before their performances.

The Batmobile was fashioned after Chuck Norris' pimpmobile.

'Chuck Norris' in Canadian is 'Sasquatch'

Chuck Norris once stumbled upon a website with random facts about himself. Although he was flattered, he sent an email to each person who submitted an untrue fact. Upon opening the email, a leather cowboy

Chuck Norris is never in a DMV longer than two minutes. Most of this time is him shooting the shit with the staff!