T-break day 1 - steemit new account
Two weeks ago, on my way to a date with my favorite girl, I had a cannabis-associated panic attack. There was a lot of people in the train, including a young couple of Mexican students with the boy flirting strongly on the girl. I had smoked a lot of weed and the scene made me wonder if I was doing enough to scare orbiters away from my then girlfriend.
Then while recovering, my ex suggested she took away my cannabis paraphernalia. I know I've needed a T-break for years now, and I was still high, so I gave her my goodies. This was probably a bad idea because it added the extra pressure of my addiction to a new relationship.
The breakup was triggered by my own shortcomings, I was feeling insecure, having suicidal thoughts, while she was still hanging out with an old ex, at some point my afib starting acting out and with their planned camping coming up, I felt her relation with her ex wasn't good for my heart. Now I understand that my ex-girlfriend was trying her best, but at that time it was just too demanding for my heart to deal with so many stressors.
I'm doing much better now, I just returned from my family doctor and for the second time this week I hear an specialist saying he couldn't hear my afib at all.
For this T-break I'm planning to log my stressors and I'll start with these:
T-break log
- Suicidal thoughts: 7/10
- Boredom: 1/10 (steemit is fun!)
- Cannabis Surroundings: 10/10
My plan for today is to hide my paraphernalia, and spend the rest of the day hiking. If I feel the need to toke, I will use posting on my brand new steemit account, as a replacement therapy.
