Reddit is an entertainment, social networking service, and news website, where registered community members can submit content, such as text posts or direct links.
At least, in theory.
Yesterday I embarked on my first soiree with Reddit, in an attempt to get feedback on my blog beyond the sphere of facebook, where presumably everybody who will read it is already friends with me, and agrees at least in part with some of what I have to say. Sometimes.
To illustrate my contempt with this process, and the several hours of my life I’ve wasted on it so far, I will present my experience in the form of a dialogue between me and Reddit. Some of this was actually said, and some of it is satirical, I’ll leave you to discern the difference for yourself.
Soddenguru:
Here’s my blog post from today! What do you think?
Reddit:
Hi, Soddenguru. Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):
You don’t have enough history participating in Reddit to submit in /r/environment.
Take some time to comment on submissions others make and become part of the community before you try to submit.
Make sure you also review the Reddit guidelines regarding SPAM and the wiki on self-promotion on reddit.
Please review the rules in the sidebar.
Thanks!
Soddenguru:
Sorry about that, I’m new here, and obviously did not take the time to thoroughly review all the rules (you guys have a lot of them,) but I’m sure they’re all for good reasons. (editor’s note: this statement was true when I first wrote it)
Yesterday I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about how facebook was not a great platform for sharing of information in general. She suggested I post my blog on reddit, so I leaped into it head first. I was kind of in a hurry because I manage several large gardens, and I had to get to work.
Initially I was perturbed that you took my link down, but after reviewing the rules, it occurred to me this happened because people here are ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION. Whoa. That’s also new for me.
And that’s exactly what I came here for.
So, today, I have some extra time because it’s raining and I can’t do much gardening. I’ll go through /r/environment and /r/agriculture, read some of what’s there, and comment if I have any thoughts about it. Then I’m going to dig through my own link archive and post up some other people’s work.
After I earn your respect, I’ll try some not so shameless self promotion. You totally caught me. Good eye!
I would be totally thrilled if you read my blog, liked it, and shared it with some of your reddit friends… If you think it’s good enough, you know where to find it.
Thanks for giving a damn!
Reddit:
“I’m going to dig through my own link archive and post up some other people’s work.”
Just be sure that what you share is current – we have a date rule also. 🙂
Soddenguru:
I searched around to try and find this date rule you speak of, and all I came up with was dating advice from Reddit’s AskReddit section. This must be what you meant by “please read Reddit’s ‘few rules’” at the bottom of the submission page.
Reddit:
Yeah, well, few is a subjective term. BTW, no using subjective terms in your posts.
Soddenguru:
Posted under /r/designporn
Helical Resonant Cavity (Impeller) – 200 Watts Moving 80 Million Pounds of Weight – Implosion
This really beats the hell out of adding chlorine to disinfect water systems. Not only is it drastically cheaper, but it has no deleterious effects on human health or surrounding ecosystems.
Now all I need is a 3d printer so I can start installing them in all my water catchments.
Reddit:
Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason: Videos have been banned from the network. More information regarding this change can be found here. In the meantime, you can probably submit it here, but pay attention to the rules in the sidebar. They are slightly different.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Soddenguru:
So here on the modern internet, in the so called porn section, no videos are allowed? Perhaps you would prefer if I mailed you a postcard? Because I feel some of the point of this machine being demonstrated in action, actually moving water, with a spoken description of purpose and function by its creator, might be lost in a still image.
Reddit:
We don’t have a mailing address. What is this post card you speak of? Have you tried submitting your post under /r/baseballcards?
Soddenguru:
Okay, I’m not giving up that easy, lets try posting this under /r/gadgets instead.
Helical Resonant Cavity (Impeller) – 200 Watts Moving 80 Million Pounds of Weight – Implosion:
BAM! How do you like me now?
Reddit:
Your post has been removed. We use the reddit FAQ guidelines for spam when removing spam posts. Additionally, as a spam-prevention measure, users with accounts that have low activity (less than 5 combined karma) and/or are less than 14 days old, may be subject to having their posts removed. If you believe your participation on the site falls within reddit’s guidelines of reddiquette and“FAQ – What constitutes spam?”, please message the mod team for reconsideration.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Soddenguru:
Well, now I have some questions. Burning questions. Personal questions, that relate to me, and my life, because what other questions are worth asking?So I’ll try posting under /r/AskReddit
Why am I being censored so heavily?
And depressed.
And discouraged.
I’m new here, and I thought I should feel out the community by posting some stuff I like, and seeing what kind of response it gets. After having four posts removed because I didn’t read every single rule and FAQ and guideline page it has occurred to me that I must be too stupid to Reddit.
Maybe in two weeks, when I’ll be allowed to post things (that other people wrote, because original content is the sworn enemy of the intarwebs,) I’ll come back and try again…
But I suspect that 14 days from now, I will still have more than one thought I’d like to share every 7 minutes.
Can anybody explain to me why this is better than advertising supported search engines, or reading books? Are there really so many spammers and self-promoting marketers that you must clamp down like a red snapper on new people?
And if that is the case, why would I want to be here?
I clearly don’t get it.
Am I even allowed to ask these questions?
Reddit:
Your post has been removed as it either violated Rule 1 or Rule 2. Please check that your post doesn’t contain the following issues:
Your own answer to the question goes in the comments as a reply to your own post. Your post will not be approved unless your own answer is removed from the text box.
You must post a clear and direct question, and only the question, in your title.
Your post can’t be specific to your situation or involve a story. Please make sure to depersonalize your question and remove any unnecessary context before posting it again.
Use the text box to explain your question if necessary (adding context or conditions), but do not use it to share an answer, add unnecessary context to the question or include your personal story. As the submitter, any answers or stories go in the comments section as a reply to the post. This is to allow for users to distinguish between the question being asked, and the submitter’s answer, when voting.
Please note – once posted, the titles cannot be edited. If your title breaks the rules, please feel free to make a new post that fits within the rules.
When you’ve removed the answer or unnecessary context from the textbox, message the mods for review and reapproval and ask the moderators to re-approve it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Soddenguru:
Yes I have questions and concerns, that’s what the fuck brought me here! Why the fuck would I depersonalize a personal question? What the fuck is the point, then?
Reddit:
I am a bot, and cannot relate to your question. If you are lonely, We have lots of dating advice under /r/AskReddit. Have you tried asking them?
Soddenguru:
YES I FUCKING HAVE! That’s what I just fucking did? What the fuck?
Reddit:
You’re doing that too much. Try again in 7 minutes.
Soddenguru:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Reddit:
You’re doing that too much also. Have you tried posting without saying fuck so many times?
7 Minutes later, under /r/ExplainLikeI’mFive
Soddenguru:
Why am I being censored so heavily?
By the time I’ve edited a post enough to not have it automatically removed by robotic moderators, it has lost all of it’s originality and meaning, so how can anyone express themselves sincerely with so many rules and guidelines?
Is there some trick that I’m missing?
Reddit:
Your recent post in ELI5 has been removed because it does not begin with “ELI5:”. We are making an effort to ensure that every post submitted to the subreddit includes this for two reasons: for one, it keeps things consistent, but more importantly we want everyone thinking about leaving a comment to know that they are in ELI5 and not another subreddit whether they found your post on the front page or elsewhere. To make re-submitting your post easier, we have done the following:
At the end of this message is a link to submit a new ELI5 post with your title (and the “ELI5” tag of course!) already there. Please ensure that the title is copied correctly. We are unable to preserve the formatting of the body of the post if you have it, so instead we will copy it here and you can copy and paste it into your submission. Ideally, you can click the “source” button under this message and copy the text from that so that the formatting is perfect.
Thank you for your understanding! If this was sent in error, feel free to message the moderators about it.
Link to re-submit (please ensure the title is copied correctly)
Soddenguru:
*** clicks link to re-submit ***
Reddit:
You’re doing that too much, try again in 7 minutes.
Soddenguru:
!@#$%&*UYG*&TER&&&%E#$##%GUJBI&T^%$#%$E&UGIY&T%&%E$
Reddit:
Your post must be written in genuine English. And definitely not Farsi, Or whatever the fuck that was.
So then I figured, alright, I’ll set up another account, from which I can try this whole thing again without all the same stigma. I picked another post, converted it into a text post that is exclusively the property of Reddit, and attempted to post it.
Reddit:
You’re doing that too much. Try again in 3 minutes.
Soddenguru:
My fucking IP address!
Reddit:
You should have thought of that, dumbass.
Soddenguru:
Well, I’m off to download TOR, which seems to be the only way a genuine human being can combat the rules and restrictions and that prevent bots and spammers and trolls and self aggrandizing shameless self promoters from abusing the platform, so that I can impersonally get some motherfucking feedback on my god damn writing style for fuck’s sake.
Reddit:
You’re a slow learner, aren’t you? Welcome to the wonderful world of social networking. Here’s your complimentary bundle of red tape, and there’s a bot in the /r/gofuckyourself subreddit that will happily string you up from the ceiling by your dick with it. Did you have any other questions?
Soddenguru:
No, I think we’re done here.
