My parents didn't know what they were doing.
Probably, yours didn't either. Even though I was not an "accident" I wasn't really "intentional" either.
Nobody had a good plan, reliable job, decent house in an okay part of town...
Right off the bat, to turn a phrase, my father was asked if he wanted me to be circumcised.
He was not religious,
But the nurse informed him that it was typical if the father was circumcised,
To make the boy match his old man.
That was enough for him.
"Right off the bat," see.
Not too long after, I smashed all my front teeth in a pogo stick incident.
Those things are deathtraps, I tell you.
My face was quite well reconstructed by dentists at the University of Minnesota,
And I bear them no ill will, for I'm sure if they knew they were replacing my teeth with compounds that would slowly emasculate me, they would have done something different. At least my mother was well informed enough not to let them put any mercury in my face, but my mouth is full of Bisphenol-A all the time.
Being the smart kid in a poor neighborhood, and not the manliest boy, resulted in persistent harassment and numerous assaults, being held hostage with knives and threatened to drink urine or play Indiana Jones for NES in my captor's bedroom (certainly the oddest hostage situation in my reckoning.)
So it happened I grew up without a foreskin.
Sprayed and injected with toxic waste,
Maligned by heathens,
And of all the other colorful little bits and pieces of my youth,
That helped craft me into the self serving sociopath I am today...
These are just a few examples of things my parents overlooked.
They had no idea about any of it, and much of it they still don't,
Because if I bothered to explain to them how they fucked up it would just make them feel shitty,
And it's not going to help me any to blame them.
Clearly it was beyond their control.
And the reason for that is because they constituted maybe 5% of the total influence on my time, according to OECD
So,
Anybody out there who's planning to have a kid,
Stop and think for a minute about your youth,
About your parents, and their plan, and your upbringing.
Maybe you think you're perfect and they did everything right and you want to copy them exactly.
AT LEAST come up with a plan first.
Make sure you have enough time to actually spend time with your kids.
So you don't have to let the state raise them for you,
While you work your ass off to pay for a giant house your kid isn't going to give a shit about.
Don't just wing it,
And let doctors make for profit surgical suggestions relating to your infant's genitalia,
Otherwise your child might be explaining to his lady friends thirty years later,
How the ability to hang jewelry and things off his junk was a medical error,
Not a punk cosmetic choice.